Beelzeboop
Beelzeboop
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Maybe it would allow the killer to knock down progress by hitting the gate switch.
Maybe make it function like PGTW but without the hook requirement?
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Sloppy is pretty much for new players and people who play Wraith.
For new players, its like the only bit of slowdown that they're gonna get for a long time. Plus, Hemorrhage is decent for tracking injured survivors, and as a newbie you're gonna lose quite a few chases.
For Wraith, due to his hit-and-run playstyle, benefits immensely from slowed healing and slightly enhanced tracking, to the point where some of the most popular Wraith builds have Sloppy and Bloodhound together, sometimes even with Stridor for if you don't have eyes or just want to waste a perk slot for two effects that are so similar in function that you only need one.
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Also reduce chase music volume.
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I would actually look into getting Sharp Hand Joe if this became a thing.
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In the end, who doesn't think DBD needs some extra furbait?
It might even end up improving the community if we got some more furries in here.
Because everyone would leave and the devs would start freaking out and fix the game to try and get everyone back.
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I would rather have fun, sorry.
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@Dabihwow said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/2116755#Comment_2116755
Thats cool also I forgot to mention the chain is wrapped around his legs, and some of its around his waist, another interesting fact is the flaps there are remnants of a straight jacket that was destroyed the flaps are all that remain of it. For the Dollatrix you some how created a extremely accurate description of the character, I don't want to change it at all, I do want to see the tongue or ideas of the tongue
I'll keep this in mind for next time. Thanks!
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A lot of people here are talking about how bodyblocking isn't cheating, but it being "cheating" isn't actually the problem.
The issue is that it ruins the tone and makes what was supposed to be the power role completely powerless. Its worse than either tunneling or facecamping, because those have valid counterplay and keep the whole concept of the killer being powerful. Its even worse than slugging, since survivors have each other to get them back up.
It makes absolutely no sense that Claudette can stand directly in front of Kazan and keep him from going past with almost no consequences for doing so. Even Amanda, Danny and the Legion should be able push a survivor out of their way given enough time and effort. Ji Woon Hak is possibly the exception.
And no, saying "you have perks to counter it" is not a valid argument. If literally everyone had access to these perks and had enough perk slots to waste one on Starstruck or Mad Grit and bodyblocking happened often enough to justify taking them at all, then it would be a functional argument. Equipping anti-bodyblocking perks is as smart as running Bubba with Cut Coin, Begrimed Chains and Franklin's Demise but you can't see what the survivors are holding in the lobby.
Slugging is the only thing that is even comparable to bodyblocking. It is only matched in it's effectiveness by how extraordinarily unfun it is to play against. But bodyblocking is almost only reliably effective if you have a SWF using it, so you don't actually see it being used very often like slugging is, so you don't know if you're even going to have to deal with it or not.
It's a scummy tactic. If you bodyblock, you don't get to complain about tunneling, camping, or slugging, and vice versa. I get to complain about it because the scummiest thing I've ever done was run NOED on Wraith not too long ago when his lunge was broken and I had gotten Haddonfield three matches in a row.
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@GoodBoyKaru said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/2116762#Comment_2116762
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
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@Dabihwow said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/2115091#Comment_2115091
I love the art and design for the Dollatrix, in a way that is exactly how I imagined them, I absolutely love that you added toes, I originally wasn't going to add heels and have them walk aroudn barefoot, but I changed it because I felt that it would add a bit of personality to the monsters. Now Furnace Head, his flaps are a lot longer past his knees, and his piece of iron covers his whole ab is box shaped, and reaching to his sides, which I forgot to mention that piece of metal on his chest is held down by belt like straps that extend to his back, but I absolutely love the attention to detail, you even added some details I wouldn't have thought about, overall I love this thank you so much!
Thank you for the compliments! I guess you pick up some things when you're in one of the most diverse and artistic fandoms on the internet. I plan on doing more refined drawings later on, as well as a drawing of a Pickeater.
I'm actually surprised I got so much right on Furnace Head. I remembered reading that Elliot could see its teeth through its mask, which was difficult enough without any references (since most respirator masks have the "mouth" respirator pointing down and I was assuming that FH had human-esque anatomy). I based his mask mostly off of Soviet civilian respirators:
(filter not pictured)
And also US military M17 gas masks:
Because both of them are fairly scary looking and heavily obscure the wearer's face, as opposed to actual firefighter respirators, which are very specifically designed to be non-threatening and distinctive so you know that this person ran into a burning building to help you, not kill you painfully and violently:
(take note of the visible area around the eyes)
I also wanted to mention some notes on my design for FH: part of the design I imagined for FH was that the pieces of cloth where actually separate pieces held onto his body by a chain, partially because it was easy, and partially because of what you wrote in the post explaining his symbolism, even though it wouldn't really make sense if he took the chain off.
In addition, I decided to give him a semi-sexualized, hyper-masculine appearance, since that works very well with themes of violence and sexual frustration.
With the Dollatrix (sorry that I got the name wrong in the picture), I tried to depict the body as a humanoid mound of liquid latex. With stitches everywhere, because rule of scary rules.
White latex was a bit of a challenge, though. Black latex is preferred by artists because it's the easiest to make look good with minimal effort, and, of course, its sexier and sleeker.
Also, I wanted the pose to simultaneously appropriate the the creature and uncanny, and I think I pulled it off fairly well. Possibly because I've seen bubblehead nurses before.
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Here are the pictures. Sorry it took so long, I don't have a phone or any sort of camera, so I had to ask my brother to take photos and Email them to me.
I was using charcoal drawing paper, which isn't the best for pencil drawing. I can do better drawings, I just wanted to scribble down what I imagined really quick.
If you can't read the text, I can supply a transcript.
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You gotta love how Trapper's main talent is sitting in the corner picking up and placing down one trap over and over again after just giving up.
It's like he was designed with it in mind, given that that's what he's gonna do every other match.
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Last night I was playing as Pig for a daily, and I found a Kate that was clearly struggling. She had an RBT on and was on her last hook.
I only realized how badly she was doing the third time I picked her up. She didn't even struggle. Instead of hooking her, I just picked her up and dropped her until she got the point and wiggled free.
I still killed her later on, because I don't give free escapes, but I certainly didn't play toxic. I even left the P3 Claudette with a medkit for her. Admittedly, the Claudette refused to share her kit, but I didn't know that until the endgame result.
If a killer bullies any of the new players, just know it isn't me. Sure, I might bring an Ebony Mori, or try out Basement Trapper, or run NOED on Wraith from time to time, but who doesn't? I always make a point not to play scummy.
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@onemind said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/2114733#Comment_2114733
Ps they made rat liver base now and and reduced the addon effect to be the same if you run it
Not initially. It hurts PR to even reveal that they would make such an absolutely insipid mistake.
The only reason they even made it basekit is because everyone was freaking out about it and threatening to quit the game.
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@JHondo said:
Bring in a Tofu cosmetic and just repair gens as a giant off-white block lol
Wields a K-bar, making him the most well equipped survivor in the game.
Or we have him be the killer. An S-tier killer, to be exact.
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Binding of Kin.
All Kill.
Were about to heavily nerf Demo's chase power because they want him to play like a more mobile Pig without RBTs without taking the *STOMP GURGLE STOMP STOMP GURGLE SCREEEE* into account.
They screwed up big time. Repeatedly. Consecutively.
They really, really need this hype.
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Y O U
W E R E
A L M O S T
A
J I L L
S A N D W I C H !
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I did some art, but I can't post it right now.
Soon, though.
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@DoritoHead said:
"You can outsmart me, but you can never outsmart my axe."
"You may outsmart me, but I've yet to meet man who can outsmart hatchet."
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@Dabihwow said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/2110614#Comment_2110614
I like Fridge Horrors, Carrion creepers, and Gluttonous, but recently I thought of the work Pickeaters
I like it!
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This is why I main Pyramid Head.
He's actually scary and oppressive, especially with stealth perks.
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@Dabihwow said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/2109786#Comment_2109786
Thank you, I have been struggling to understand what symbolism can bring, and before Furnace Head, was a monster I struggled to make, something new unique, impactful, but also terrifying.
Edit that other monste rthat Furnace Head kills, I'm stuggling to come up a name for it, but the idea of it was what if the food you thre away or didn't eat out of picky eating, could harm you.
Some names for the creatures (I assume they're fairly common monsters):
Vore
The Wretched Ones
Fridge Horrors
Carrion Creepers
Putrid
Raw Peel
Bloated Abominations
Rotten Beasts
Gluttonous
These are just off the top of my head. Are any of these good?
EDIT: Thought that I should mention, I've been calling it "Cowboy" this whole time.
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One concept for a DH rework was that you would dash sideways instead of forward. You would dash to the side of you that the killer is farthest from, and the direction you dash would change slower than you can turn.
What I mean by "the direction you dash would change slower than you can turn," is that... well, imagine a line coming out of the survivor's side. When the survivor turns, the line would turn with them, after a short delay.
Upon dashing, you would lose all momentum unless you were already holding W again.
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@Gay_Police_Dept said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/2107206#Comment_2107206
i gotta stop you right here "Clown? Hope you have the right add-on and good aim."
So you admit there's a place for skills since i gotta have a good aim in order to success.
What I was saying was that in order to do one-hit downs, you either need set up, decently high skill, or the survivor to make egregious, repeated mistakes.
And you don't really need good aim for DH, you just need not godawful aim. If you don't DH directly into a wall or the killer, that just means you have some faculty with a mouse or controller. It isn't skill anymore than intoxicating a survivor as Clown, or shocking a survivor as Doc. If you fail a DH, that means either the server f*cked up or you did.
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@Dabihwow no problem at all, bug me anytime you want.
Yeah, I really like the description. I didn't respond when you posted it at first mainly because I couldn't really think of an appropriate response to that, not because it had any issues. It was pretty good as it was, but improving something already good shows dedication and passion, two of the most important virtues needed for an artist like yourself.
You really hit home with the symbolism there, and I want you to know that I understand completely. The idea of a monster representing bottled up rage, depression, and frustration has been done before, but this one feels fundamentally unique.
I feel like everyone can relate to this thing to some extent, and, in the end, that's the point of symbolism: to subtly tell a story without having to explicitly say the details. Like an inside joke, but more dramatic than funny.
All in all, a great monster with excellent symbolism, a powerful premise, and a wonderfully horrific design. In less pretentious terms, you did a good job.
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There is no killer or build that can one-hit down red rank survivors 100% of the time.
Bubba? Heavily countered by windows, and he has to charge his chainsaw.
Clown? Hope you have the right add-on and good aim.
Huntress? Same as clown.
Billy? The same as Bubba, but also countered by walls.
Oni? You actually need survivors to be injured just to use your power.
Plague? In what universe could Plague be considered reliable?
Myers? He has to wait the whole game to get his 1 hit down.
Ghostface? Awful. Just awful. He's my 3rd most played killer, so I should know.
NOED? You've basically already lost if this even comes into play. Plus, it's a Hex perk.
MYC? You need to have already downed a survivor, and then you need to somehow track the rescuer.
Starstruck? You need to be carrying an already downed survivor.
Rancor? Not even a contender in this case.
Plus, in a game where you can't adjust your build after seeing what the enemy's build is, hard counters shouldn't exist anyway.
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I feel like survivors being able to even start a blind while the killer picks up a survivor is cheap and unfair.
Its one of the reasons I almost always bring Franklin's.
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Thank you for making this post.
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@Dabihwow said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/2106883#Comment_2106883
Well I am thankful for the criticism and I do have @QwQw who is editing it for me. Problem is that I mostly am writing these when I'm at school on a draft her eon the forums, and when I have to go move to a new class, I kinda lose focus a bit on what I was writing beforehand ( also thank you Qw!). I don't leave the symbolic parts out, I tend to give very little to an idea of what these characters are. However Furnace Head design wise, I think its fine, however the thing is Furnace Head isn't an actual monster, I can't tell you exactly what he is, but I can tell you is that some of his physical description is to show this characters' story, also I know what halberd is I chose it be a fire axe to follow along with this character symbolism, originally he was supposed to wear a fireman helmet ( which I might allow, at some point), but I felt it would've been way to obvious for what this character was.
@QwQw said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/2107029#Comment_2107029
Thanks! And by the way, sorry for kind of taking a break from editing. Recently with school starting back up for me, my life's been a bit busier than before.
Oh, sorry. I didn't realize that QwQw was actually your editor. In that case, I'll refrain from criticizing your spelling and punctuation, since you have someone handling it.
I didn't mean to insinuate that you were ignoring symbolism. The Dollitrix makes it clear that you understand it and are implementing it, but I didn't understand what the symbolism for Furnace Head was supposed to be. Ambiguity is a common but strong horror writing tool, so I want to encourage it, not discourage it.
I want to make it clear that I love the design for the guy. I just thought that with all the similarities, Pinebrook looks a bit too close to a Silent Hills knock-off for me to feel comfortable not mentioning it.
The whole school thing makes a lot of sense, TBH. I often get my best ideas while practicing my cursive. I'll start being a little less critical in some areas with the circumstances in mind.
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@Alice_pbg said:
people really need to understand that while dead hard gives less distance than lithe or SB, it gives this distance PRECISELY when you need it.
sb? only at the start of a chase.
lithe? very first vault. and depending on the location, you might have to stay in the loop anyway.
the pallet one? gotta hit a pallet on the killer.
balanced? only after a drop, that some maps don't even have.
dead hard? exactly when you need it.
This, plus the fact that DH can be used
- as third healthstate like MoM, because with both of them you get to effectively ignore when a killer played their cards right and should have hit.
- for distance, like SB, Lithe, BL, and Smash Hit
And, remember, on demand.
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Also, sorry if my criticism comes off as a bit pretentious or harsh, but I'm trying to be as helpful as I possibly can.
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Alright, now onto pages 4-5 1/2.
@Dabihwow said:
Page 4: @QwQw @GoobyNugget , here's page 4 I just couldn't resist the temptation to post this, and I wanna keep the hype going so here you go. Now if for everyone for some reason started on this page please head to the front to read the warnings given before hand. leave feedback if any, and hare your thoughts, so lets begin
Elliot entered the room, there was barely flickering light, and a bed that he went and sat on. Elliot was thinking about Julie, she was beautiful, she was proud, and she was familiar. Images of that face kept resurfacing in the back of his head, it ached with an almost unbearable pain. He got up and went to the sink to wash up, the water that poured was clear. Elliot grabbed a handful and washed his face, he got a handful and began washing his face.
He looked back at the mirror and strangely began to think of the past events. Elliot remembered how he always wanted to go to college and get a degree in economics but couldn't afford it and found a job as a semi-truck driver which had good pay but hated his job, to forget, he indulged in terrible habits like eating, drinking, and pleasurement of the wrong kind. It tore him to think about what others thought, so he closed himself to other's feelings. Elliot sighed and decided to re rinse his face, but as he did he sneezed splashing the water on the sink and him.
Elliot looked at his snot, his eyes widened. He saw a black, bloody, and meat-like piece of snot with a wiggling worm on his hand . Elliot stared back at the mirror, and jumped, but stopped to stare at the mirror for what stared back at him. What stared back was covered in rotten food, bloody with maggots and worms crawling around the sides of the shoulder, and ashes with cigarette butts having out of the moldy ribcage. Its cheeks on the right were molding, like it was rotten food found in a restaurant's dumpster. The ashes smelled of tobacco and past the ash covered ribs were lungs that began to spew a black oily substance. The Worms and maggots ate away at the left eye of the figure, cheeks, belly, nose, and skull. Elliot somehow, felt it all ,the slime pouring out from his lungs, the ache in his lungs, the irritation in his left eyes, cheeks and the digging within the skull he wanted to scream.
Elliots' rapid breath and disgust as he heave as he began to vomit. Decomposed meat, with maggots, worms, shards of a beer bottle, cigarette butts, and a latex object for what he could assume was a condom. The pain was unbearable, he wanted to cry out for help for the nurse but found little strength. Elliot spun around away from the mirror, suddenly all at once, it stopped, the pain was gone ,the irritation, and he felt no cavity in his chest either. He heaved in and out, and almost slumped to the floor, he saw the room had changed, the floor was concrete, that was covered in dust with rust staining the ground. The bed Elliot sat on, was still a bed, but instead looked like handcuffs on each end of the corner. It had stains on the sheets that had a brown like substance, it also had a strong ripe aroma that Elliot closed his nose
" Good god." Elliot cringed. He paced over towards the door. " Julie, where are you?" he called out but was greeted with silence in the air. Elliot turned on his flashlight and was awed, the entire area changed! It had the same layout but now had hooks and chains that dripped with stained filled blood. Wood of a broken down structure was splayed in bits around the area, with signs of a fire as light peered into the windows. Elliot was holding his breath for quite a while, it felt like a thousand questions were running throughout his head. What the ######### is happening, what happened back there with the mirror, and where's' Julie?
" If that ######### doesn't come now then I'll go," Elliot commented, he began marching off to the door that led to the exit. A loud moan that reminded him of a cow but had a shrill human-like quality to it resonated past the debris, Elliot jumped and began to crouch behind the debris. He saw a skinny creature that had a cow-like pattern, the creature in question was to the bone skinny. However, in some parts it had flesh, and appeared if it had been, nearly eaten or chewed up. The creature didn't even have a stomach, its head sure enough was that of a small cow with one sighed of it being eaten and the other completely full, the creature also had fruit attached to the skin just like the image in the mirror.
Elliot starred as it was scampering along with its left hand a meat hook went for a door as it opened. Elliot breathed, but before he crouched up, he turned and saw a ruined piece of paper, suddenly it began to turn brown and crumble up. Another loud shriek of the creature from behind the door this time sounded like it was in distress, a loud roar that was more human than the creature before, and a lot deeper. Suddenly there was a loud smash against the door, a loud crack of the wood echoed throughout the room. Another slam came and the door fell to the floor broken along with the creature it was now bloodied. Elliot flinched and saw the now mangled and broken creature, as it struggled to recover.
"Elliot grabbed a handful and washed his face, he got a handful and began washing his face."
Always write thoughts in italic. It makes it less confusing for the average reader.
Punctuation again, particularly in the seventh paragraph.
Sixth paragraph has issues with pacing towards the end due to run-on sentences.
Sixth and seventh paragraphs seem to have issues with choosing the right words. I can't really call the problem anything else, but the issue is understandable. "Sighed" in the place of "side" fits with the tone, but not exactly with the english language. "Starred" was probably just a typo now that I think about it, so I'll let you off the hook (pun intended).
The issues with the writing I've noted combine to make it really hard to visualize the cow stalker in the room.
Three and four were great. Not just good, but actually, genuinely great. It reminds me of the scene in... Devotion, was it? where the player character starts washing his hands, then starts seeing blood on his hands, so he starts washing harder and faster until he's rubbing his skin raw. He looks at his hands, staring at the gore pooled in his palms.
I wanna criticize the hooks and chains, but I can't really. It feels just a tiny bit too close to the Otherworld from SH, but I honestly adore the idea of the environment being exactly the same except for meat hooks and chains hanging from the ceiling, dripping fresh, hot, sanguine fluids of unknown origins.
It was pretty ambitious of you to try and make paragraph seven mostly auditory. Writing Monsters, one of the books I recommended, has an entire section on making stretches of the story where we only get one sense, going into everything from hearing to even tasting. Overall, with the level experience you have, pretty good. I probably couldn't do much better.
@Dabihwow said:
@GoobyNugget ,@QwQw I know this is still a bit fast, but this is page 5, and honestly its more like a page and a half, maybe even two pages! But this is the 5th page, however this is probably one of the most important page out of all of these. But i'll leave that for your to read, I really want to thank you two and everyone else as well for pushing me to do this, but enough waiting lets begin, also this is when the more adult themes sink in. Let me know what you think and give me honest critism
Out from the door a humanoid being came out from the door, it had the same molten orange glow, and eye holes from the alley. The hairs on Elliots neck and body stood up as he struggled to breathe, he finally got a full view of what he saw. This thing almost entirely resembled a human, it showed its' bare chest which was toned, as well as its arms, it was taller then Elliot maybe standing six or seven feet. It also wore black pants with large flaps of supposedly leather that have been charred and was torn in some places, they hung right around the waist, the skin was tan and burned, it was also red in some areas as burnt skin tore away. There were cracks all over the body and straps of metal that were stuck to the skin to hold down some of the larger cracks within the body. There was a large piece of metal covering the stomach area all the way up to the breast, and were held down by straps that resembled belts attaching to the back.
Its gloves extended to the elbows that had metal cuffs on each side, but with all that, its head is what stood out the most. It wore a face iron, with holes that extended in a circular motion like a gas mask. Thats what it was a iron gas mask that circled the whole head, there were even bolts to hold down the mask. A large circular opening where the mouth is, Elliot could see a set of crooked teeth, the head reminded him of some kind of furnace almost. The thing carried a large fireaxe in its right, but this fire axe looked somewhat longer then a meter stick, with the blade that had holes that glowed the same orange and a rustic design, it even emitted heat. The handle was long even for an axe, it was wrapped in leather wrappings and with textures of some kind of metal wrapping around near the head connecting to the handle.
The things' footsteps echoed with a loud stomp and the sound of chains rattling, the creature from before struggled, but was out of view. The thing grabbed the creature as it struggled to wiggle out of the monsters' grasp, but it was in vain for the monster grabbed the creature's tongue and tore it off. Elliot just watched breathless, as tears enveloped in his eyes, the creature with its hook pierced the monsters' arm, it roared in aggression and hate. It grabbed the hook, tearing it off the creature, and tossing it aside, with its ax, the creature . With just a bit of it stuck to the monsters' axe, it lifted the head with one hand anch chucked it at a wall, smashing its head against it.
This Furnace thing heaved in and out, its breathe was hollow, deep, and calling intimidating would be understating it. Elliot noticed tubes, and metal wires around the neck or even making up a part of the neck as it ran deep into the skin of the Furnace thing. It began to stomp off to the right, as it lifted its axe, Elliot noticed that the axe seemed to have slightly torched the floorboards without touching it. Every footstep against floor was like a sledgehammer, Elliot felt the floor shake a little for each step. He dared not move or speak, till he could no longer hear its footsteps or heavy breathing, he realized there were tears in his eyes, he frowned and shook it off.
Elliot stood up and began to maneuver around the debris, he saw the remains of the monster, it lay there as its food like guts, and moldy blood were spewing out of the neck. It smelled like uncooked meat that was left in a refrigerator and not even touched. Elliot couldn't look at it any longer for it made his stomach queasy, but something in the area caught his attention. Elliot looked down the hallway from where the exit was, and he heard the clicking of heels on the floor. " Julie." He said.
Elliot began to walk towards her, but when he met her, she wasn't smiling as she was carrying a med kit. " Where do you think your going you need to lie down, you want harm yourself more!?" Julie growled, this caught Elliot off guard. When He first met Julie she was kind and helpful, but now she is acting more like a ######### then a nurse. " I came looking for you, I was going to-" "I don't care, my job is to make sure my patients are unharmed, and you disobeyed your..." she stopped for a bit to recollect herself, Elliots eyes widened, he remembered cuffs on the bed, and she looked vaguely familiar, from one of Elliot's adult magazines." Your not a nurse, your a ######### for one, but your a prostitute, you want to... get out of the way, I'm getting help." Elliot declared, he began to walk but was shoved by Julie
Julie just stared, she was beyond furious, that her eyes almost look like they darkened. " No... your gonna obey your nurse, and I will get what I want!" Julie screamed as she pulled out a syringe and charged at Elliot, he grabbed her by the arms and with a swift movement punched her in the rightside of her face. Julie staggered backwards clutching on her bruise, Elliot hit a woman for the very first time, he stared dumbfounded. " You small cocksucker, but don't worry I don't mind playing rough!" Julie growled seductively, Elliot' felt chills in his spine strangely. Julie faced Elliot and removed her hand over the bruise around the eye, the beautiful tan skin was peeling away revealing a large area, of darkened white latex.
Elliot's breathe intensified, as he stared at the monster that was called Julie.There was no eye hole, just a bland yet beautiful face that covered the head tightly, there was a sign of ear but were wrapped extremely tight around the head. The tan skin began peeling away more and more, leaving nothing but a gooey liquid that emitted a ripe aroma, Julie began to laugh maniacally as she began to walk towards Elliot. The clothes fell away, the heels stayed as if it was attached to the body, it was red in color. Once the final pieces of the flesh was gone, Elliot saw the whole thing, its whole body was covered in latex, there was gozz wrappings around the breasts and waist, and a red whit cross label upon the chest. Julie had a curvaceous body, but Elliot showed no remote interest, he wanted to run, but found rooted to the spot. " Ah, much better, now lets have our fun big boy, your nurse needs it." Julie giggled, as she held the huge syringe.
Same issues as the last page, but with notably more typos. The most egregious (to me specifically) have to be the use of the wrong "your." Repeatedly.
You seem to be overusing certain words.
"Ripe aroma" shouldn't have appeared twice. I would suggest either making it "the same ripe aroma from the bedsheets," for more clarity, or change the word the second time to some other words. Noisome, putrid, wretched, vile, even just plain awful would work. Be extravagant!
The curb-stomp battle between Fridge Horror and The Furnace Thing was a bit difficult to read. You didn't specify which one was which, so the reader has to gather which one is "the creature" and which one is "the monster" from context clues. A quick fix would be to refer to Furnace Head as "the furnace thing" during the whole fight. Also, unless the narrator (in this case, Elliot, even though it is in third person limited) has reason to believe that the word is an actual name, don't capitalize a word. The exception is if the designation is essentially going to act as a name, and even that is a stylistic choice.
Its a bit too early to tell, but with these types of monsters, the designs need to be heavily symbolic, and I'm not seeing that in Furnace Head here. Once again, maybe it just hasn't shown up yet, but it reminds me a bit too much of Pyramid Head, just without masterful execution in the best horror game ever made. Look up "Silent Hill Butcher."
EDIT: Just got to the third page of the thread. I understand the symbolism now. Kinda embarrassed I didn't get it before.
Just a note: an axe with an overly long handle is called a halberd. Its a medieval weapon used for taking out targets who thought that their shields would make up for a lack of armor.
I love the monster descriptions. Flawed as they may be in execution, in concept they all strike gold. I honestly want to draw them both. If I ever do, I'll have to use my drawing tablet so I can post the pictures here.
I also have an idea for a stalker based on the concept of a fear of commitment, so I might send you a picture of that idea too.
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If you run in a 4man with stretched res, all meta perks and comms, you don't get to complain when I run NOED on Wraith with no slowdown.
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Don't kinkshame.
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You were a person once. Now all you are is screaming.
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Don't.
The Twins are horrible in every possible way, and they're getting a nerf.
The only thing you can really do with them is slug and camp, because that's literally what the devs made them for. Because that's the only tactic the devs can consistently use with the sheer lack of practice and skill.
And, evidently, the Twins were too good at slugging, so that needed to be nerfed into the ground. Unfortunately, they can't really do anything else, but that's a player problem, not a dev problem.
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@Boss said:
While in the Dream World, Survivors cannot see and/or hear the Hatch, and this leads to being unable to interact with it as well.
Why?
Literally no reason, no balance thoughts were made when making this up either.
Actually, how about the hatch reveals its aura to the survivors instead?
Its clearly more balanced that way, since survivors are put at such a disadvantage in the Dream World. They can't possibly grasp the intricacies of finding the hatch themselves, especially not with the big, scary Freddy after them.
/s
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@Peanits Pin this.
This is the best post on the forum.
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This is just Cyberpunk Trickster.
But better.
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@Homemade_Cookies said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/2100136#Comment_2100136
Camping is an exploit.
It wasn't intended by the devs. They just happened to allow since it'll cause all the ruckus by the community.
Just like T-bagging is an exploit and moon-walking is.
Bubba was meant to be a one-shotable killer like Hillbilly, but people started to exploit that and devised a dumb strategy to camp.
Like I said, just because the devs allowed it to be "viable" it doesn't mean it's an intended result. Get that straight.
Oh, camping is way more intentional than you think. If you watch the devs play killer, you'll see why they think its a great strategy: they use it. Every match.
Also, if those are what are considered "exploits," because they were never intended to be in the game, looping is also an exploit. That's right, the main form of gameplay was actually an exploit originally.
Wow, reading that back... I'm mostly just speechless.
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@Dabihwow said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/2105908#Comment_2105908
OH MY ######### god your back I missed you man yeah I will work on this in time and thank you for the comments
Thanks for the warm welcome back, and you're welcome for the comments.
I'll hopefully be here all week.
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@indiartefact said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/2106032#Comment_2106032
It was not the point, but sorry you feel this way.
I'm not complaining, just making a note.
I honestly like pretty much any design that shows concept art, and I think that this skin could be a nice change for Hag, since most of her skins aren't really that interesting at all.
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NOED, my boy.
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Because even Hag needs to be lusted after.
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@selflessnea said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/2105967#Comment_2105967
This is wrong. Shrine cost 2000 shards. Killers cost 8000
Ah. My mistake.
But still, that's a lot of shards for just one perk. More efficient, but still a lot.
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@Hazular said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/242353/rank-13-killer
Keep an eye on the Shrine of Secrets on a weekly basis! Use your shards to get some teachable killer perks from killers that you don't own :)
Don't do this. Every perk on the Shrine has the same Iri Shard cost as like half of an entire killer, who each have three perks.
You don't need to spend money to get Hag, Doc or Clown,(Hex:Ruin, Overcharge, PGTW) you can just spend Shards if you have enough.
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Remember that BT bodyblocking is still a thing, and that grabs are still broken.
Also, remember that the excuse that the devs gave was that it was "too intricate" for survivors. That is easily the most coddling I have ever seen in a video game. You would have to have almost no knowledge of the game in order to not understand TR.
The only thing that makes it excusable is that it nerfs stealthcamping (Insidious Bubba, anyone?), even though they could have just made it trigger based on proximity instead of TR.
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I'm back, and I'm gonna try to behave this time. I've missed talking to you. And criticizing you. Speaking of which:
@Dabihwow said:
Anyway, I'm back with page 2 of the Prologue. I wanna say thank you to @DoritoHead , @MandyTalk , @Beelzeboop , @Wamps , @naughtyboyjames , and everyone else. You guys give me a lot to work for, before we begin, read the following Warning above, and see if you are comfortable with these themes. Well here it is, and just so you know I am the owner, Pinebrook has been copyrighted (finally), and I claim ownership. Please do not use my characters without my consent, or my title, people are allowed to create fan art, and fan services but nothing more. I will however allow the prologue of these short stories to be viewed to give readers a glimpse, leave feedback, if any, be dead honest with me guys, it helps me out please, and thank you
Elliot struggled to gain consciousness as his ears ring, they felt like they were gonna burst. He moved his body around the cramped space, as his vision returned only slightly to see. Elliot felt a hot sting on the side of his face, he touched it to feel dried blood on his face. He shuffled to un-buckle his seat belt which was challenging, however, Elliot always carried a pocket knife. He unclipped it from his pocket and cut himself free which left him alone in the dark. However, he had a backup plan, inside the glove compartment on the passenger's side was a heavy-duty flashlight in-case of any problematic situations such as this.
Elliot moved to grab hold of it, struggling to bend his body. He felt the handle of it but slipped out of his hands. “ Damn it, oh #########.” he groaned, he grabbed a hold of the steering wheel and hoisted himself slightly to grab a hold of the damn handle for the glove compartment. Finally, after another hoist, he opened the compartment and it spilled out with magazines, papers, and a handy dandy flashlight it landed with a clunk against the truck. One of the magazines fell onto Elliots’ face that was open.
He groaned in annoyance. " I should've been paid more to do this job,” he commented, he went to feel around for the flashlight. A loud wailing came from outside of the truck. It was animal-like yet, but it wasn’t anything like Elliot had heard, it reminded him of some kind of cat. He continued to search, however, he did it slowly and quietly before he had a grip on the rubbery handle.
" The hell, was that a bobcat?" He questioned. Elliot began to reconsider freeing himself from the truck. Maybe he could call the cops and ask for help, Elliot turned on the flashlight as it illuminated his surroundings slightly. His entire truck was a mess with the now ruined meatball sub laying on the driver's side window, the adult magazines he kept to himself, and to his phone which was shattered in two and laid right next to his side. " Oh, that's perfect, awesome, this absolutely helps me," Elliot growled, he sighed. Frustrated, and scared, he could barely think straight, it was as if the entirety of his brain had an itch, that he wanted to scratch.
Elliot took a deep breath and exhaled, he just wanted to go home and get out. A lingering idea or a thought came to him, it started to give him hope. He has beaten up a bunch of drunk men at the bar before, a bobcat wouldn’t be any worse, and it was better than being squashed in a semi. Elliot smiled, he raised his flashlight and smashed through the window that was fogged. He began to crawl out, using the steering wheel as a way to push upon his body. Once out he was free, he stood up and was met with a sign that read ‘Welcome to Pinebrook’. “ Yeah thanks for the ######### notice!” he sarcastically scolded
You kind of abused the linking words in a couple of places. For example:
He unclipped it from his pocket and cut himself free which left him alone in the dark.The way this is worded makes it seem like cutting himself free is the event that causes him to be alone and in an area with little to no light. Given the genre, this might be intentional, but it seems like a mistake.
One major problem that I'm seeing is confusion in punctuation. For example:
Elliot took a deep breath and exhaled, he just wanted to go home and get out.Putting a period in place of the comma would make the flow better and make the sentence slightly easier to read. Remember that a good portion of writing is the illusion that the author is eloquent and skilled beyond reasonability. The best way to do this is through the use of heavy editing, even when it takes some humanity out of the piece.
@Dabihwow said:
I know I said I was taking a break, but boy it has been way too long since I posted a page. my only fear is that I won't be around much longer to be able to post the last few pages of Pinebrook, so I decided I might as well during my wait, I will post the pages that I've been writing. during my time I like to thank @QwQw and @GoobyNugget. I've felt a lot better than I had to begin with but I still want my break. So for those of you who have been waiting here is page 3 of Pinebrook prologue, not that my work and all the characters belong to me. So let's begin also leave me feedback please if you have any, be dead honest with me, I'm okay with some hate, I barely got any last time.
Elliot began to spin his head around, it was almost quiet. The wind was howling in the moonless night as if it was singing a tune he couldn’t understand. The area around was surrounded by trees, and a lake to the right which led to a river-like path with beaver dams, and swamp-like forest. “ So this is Pinebrook, well if I remember right, I was directed to go to the gas station, the town should be up ahead,” Elliot remarked
He began to walk down the road, after for what felt like an eternity he made it to the main street, and it didn’t even comfort him with the fact he was utterly alone. Elliot saw a group of buildings that he would assume was, the town, it had large brick buildings, with dimly lit street lights. The wind still whistled, as a faint howl in the distance of an animal like a coyote. Elliot felt surreal, calm, and yet uneasy. The street was quiet as if eyes were watching him in the dark, stalking his every step. Suddenly a loud slam echoed from across a building on his right.
Elliot turned and heard an ear-piercing skin that sent a cold in his bones. There was a sound of a struggle from a dark alleyway Elliot saw movement. The only light that imitated from the dark glowed a molten orange color, it shook violently as the sound of liquid splattering, then stopped and turned its head to Elliot. He could see outlines of two eye slots that slightly glowed, and were high above the ground at least six feet or more. Elliots' stomach churned as he instinctively bolted out and went to hide. He heard loud stomps in behind him, which only seemed to make him run faster.
Elliot ran straight to the town hall, he continued to crazily bang on the front door. “ Hey, help!” Elliot cried as he continued to bang on the door, he looked back and saw the thing wasn't in sight, his heart was a beating drum. He continued to bang on the door, suddenly he heard a click on the inside, and the door opened. Elliot was expecting to be greeted by an old manager but instead was greeted by a rather beautiful woman. She had slight tan skin, with beautiful black hair. She also had such a flaunting body that women would drop dead for. The woman pulled him inside, and slammed the door, and locked it.
" It's good I got you in, it's not safe out there. " The sweet woman said her voice was sultry and sassy. Elliot was breathless, stunned. " Who are you, what the fu-?” Elliot was cut off and was shushed. “ My name is Julie, I’m a nurse here, hey hun you look in bad shape, let me escort you.” She ordered as she took his hand. Julie's heels clicked as they walked down, she walked seductively as she swayed her bottom, much to Elliot's subtle pleasure. Men had hobbies, sometimes men like to run a model train layout,
The area was dark, it was dusty yet the wooden tiles on the floor were still somehow clean. Elliot couldn't but stare at Julie's rear, every man had their hobbies, some played video games, and some played golf. For Elliot, it was either a decent smoke or reading his 'personal magazines'. but he quickly glanced back up to make sure he wasn't seen. " So what the ######### is going on miss?" " I'm not sure, something feels off, everyone was absent until you arrived darling." She responded they stopped in front of an office at one part of the hallway that had a cross symbol above as Julie opened the door. " Head inside sir, and lay on the bed, I need to get some things so I can... help with your head," Julie ordered. " Okay... I will." Elliot obeyed. " and if you cooperate I'll give you a lollipop." She commented
Same issue with commas being used in the place of periods or being absent altogether, but I can tell you've improved signifigantly since the last page.
I've also noticed a distinct lack of the application of the very important rule "show, don't tell," which admittedly I suffer with myself at times. Actually, you did the showing part excellently, but you also added the "telling" part, which the rule specifically says not to do. This wouldn't be that big of a deal if the genre you seem to be going for wasn't Slightly Surreal Psychological/Survival Horror, since each genre added into the mashup relies heavily on this rule.
I love the Bubblehead Nurse vibe I'm getting here.
@Dabihwow said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/2056100#Comment_2056100
Thanks man, I will try to take my time, and if you want to edit your gladly able to, I absolutely suck at grammar, and I've thought of making this series into a video game series, but I struggle with coding in some aspects. Texturing and such, I barely have a decent computer programming teacher to help. So I learn a bit on the internet but its a bit of a challenge, plus I need to raise money to even begin the said project.
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/2056104#Comment_2056104
I've been hearing that a lot with Pinebrook giving off Silent Hill vibes, in fact Pinebrook was very closely inspired off of Silent Hill. But also on Resident Evil, and Outlast, two of my favorite horror franchises. I try to make each character as interesting as before. Thats awesome your willing to buy this as is, but there is a big difference between these posts then the actual book, this version is the cut version. While I was writing I realized there is excerpt or two that would definitely get me in trouble if shown on the forums. So when the book does come out it will be through by through the uncut version.
I don't know any good tutors for coding, but I do know some good youtubers for game design. Google "Adam Millard - The Architect of Games," "Gamemaker's Toolbox"(this is actually the group that organizes gamejams), and potentially look up Jacob Geller, even though hes more about video essays on video games than analyzing their design.
A good book on the subject would be GURPS: Horror, even though its mainly focused on tabletop gaming, specifically the writing and designing part. Plus, it has a list of horror classics to check out in the back of the book, with everything from Bioshock to Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus. About half of it is GURPS (Generic Universal Roleplaying System) specific stuff, which may not seem useful, but I found the system is fairly easy to model monsters and characters in, since its basically the TV Tropes of TTRPGs.
Speaking of TV Tropes, I would suggest checking them out, especially the "So You Want To/ Write a Survival Horror Game" and the "Horror Tropes" pages.
While I'm suggesting references, I should probably suggest some books on writing in general. the book Writing Monsters: How to Craft Believably Terrifying Creatures to Enhance Your Horror, Fantasy, and Science Fiction, by Phillip Athans. Its a good book, and has plenty of tips on speculative fiction writing, especially horror, besides the content advertised in the title. It helped me a lot, and is one of my favorite books on writing.
Pretty much any book by Scott McCloud is a great choice, specifically Understanding Comics, as it talks about the creation of media, stylization, and communicating through stories in general.
I'll to a post discussing the second page of this thread soon, but this one is just for the first page so far.
I'm sorry I missed so much of this. This is honestly great, and I'm proud to be part of it, even with such a small role.
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@Raja said:
https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/1995121#Comment_1995121
Because he can't so easily be bullied
Just like that, I'm buying Doctor.
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I support this change fully.
Although, the perks should have a different but somewhat related effect during the EGC as opposed to being completely worthless.