Message I got from a survivor: "What are you, disabled?" (Updated)

I'll preface with this: this was a while ago and I didn't reply to them. Rolled my eyes, deleted the message, life goes on. I was also a bit wary of posting this since many people feel they need to defend themselves as if I am making an accusation or "woe is me" type post. I do not know life differently, it's not something I see a negative as much as just life. I am not posting this for sympathy, nor am I accusing anyone of doing these things. Some may also think I'm lying, since I deleted the message because I don't care what some random toxic survivor thinks of me. I have no reason to lie, but this is the internet, so you should be taking things with a grain of salt anyways.

Yes, I am. I was born with a disability that severely impacts my motor function. And it took me more than a decade of extremely nuanced OT to be able to even properly hold a PS4 controller.

I am very disabled when it comes to manual dexterity and motor function. Always have been, I was born with it. I am 19 years old and it takes me 2 minutes to tie one of my shoes. I couldn't play anything more difficult than Pokemon as a child. It took about a decade of specialised therapy to be able to do what can now. Taunt me all you want, I'm just happy I can actually play the game from a physical standpoint.

But I'm not the only bad killer who gets taunted for being bad. And I'm not the only disabled person playing the game. It doesn't bother me on a personal level because I am just happy that I can play, but it very much bothers me that people feel like they can go around saying these things.

I'm not accusing anybody of anything, of course, I will always give the benefit of the doubt.

I just think it's important to know that there are people who are fully okay with saying these things over a VIDEO GAME. If this person met me irl they wouldn't know I had a disability because I've learned to live with it in a way that lessens the burden on me, and makes me look more normal.

In the end though what does it matter? This person has the audacity to say these things, my life goes on and I'm the one using government funds to buy more DLC.

(But also...please don't do this)


UPDATE: Thanks for the support everyone. I'm glad to see most of us are on the same page. To the people who think it's generational: I've had more older people call me things such as the r-slur to my face so idk about that. To those who think I need to grow thicker skin...I thought it was clear that I am not angry at this incident. I have been called every name in the book. I have been physically attacked. I have been cyberbullied. I have been sexually harassed on and offline. I have been insulted for playing as a female character in games such as dark souls where gender changes nothing. If I didn't have a thick skin and the ability to forgive I'd have a bad time with everything. Not to mention, I use the knowledge I was forced to obtain to help others: I have been hit, pinched, bitten, choked, had my clothes ripped, been drooled on, had my lunch stolen, been sneezed on, been spit on, I've had my glasses taken off my face, I've had student's spit objects into my hands (worked with a student with a rare eating disorder called pica. It causes one to have the urge to eat non-food items and this student was developmental so he didn't know not to).

And there is a positive side too. It is technically a mental disability -- it affects me physically too because of the parts of my brain that it affects. I have the physical ability to do something, however it is often much more difficult and requires lots of therapy. In spite of this, certain parts of my mental capacity are above average. I have an eidetic memory and can memorize things very quickly and effectively. I am also hypersensitive to, uh, everything (which can be a blessing or a curse). Basically, there's extra neuron activity in my sensory perception and memory and less activity in my motor strip.

Tagged: Mod

Comments

  • @Accullla said:

    https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/1665783#Comment_1665783

    I'm only responding because it looks like you took the time to research and then formulate a well informed argument. I'd advise against it with this kind of person. Judging by their grammar and way of expression, they're not the type that will understand anything you try to say unless you go down to their level, which I hope you won't.

    Oh no, formulating long arguments with reasoning and proof is what I do best, even if it doesn't get through to the person it helps other people recognise my point of view and maybe I can teach people a thing or too. Thanks for the concern though mate <3

  • @Nobsyde said:

    https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/1666668#Comment_1666668

    I have no idea what you are talking about. what language, what guy, what the hell do you think you've read lol.

    Read the post from you which was quoted in my response. It's that simple.

  • @ReturnOfTheSack said:

    https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/1665717#Comment_1665717

    I thought OP said they weren't posting this to whine and get sympathy?

    Sharing a first person perspective not = whining.

  • @GoodBoyKaru said:

    https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/1665486#Comment_1665486

    I'd actually like to come back to your point here about having all the rights you want. Now I'm assuming you're American, and I'm not American so I had to do some research.

    From what I could establish, this is the First Ammendment you're talking about:

    "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

    That's under the US Constitution. Here's my source.

    From what I can gather, this says that Congress won't pass a law to prohibit the Freedom of Speech or the Freedom of Press. Now, do correct me if I'm wrong, but BHVR, a Canadian games company, is not Congress. Therefore, within their privately owned game on the servers they rent, or their rented forums, they can create whatever rules (like laws in this case) they want. Definitely under UK Law, which is what I'm basing my analysis of this off (I haven't studied Canadian law or I'd go off of that), privately owned businesses can create their own by-laws (the terminology will be very different I know) for their property that impacts the public.

    So no, actually. You have no rights within the confines of these forums or the game, unless BHVR specify that you do.

    "BuH mUh FrEeDoM oF sPeAcH" doesn't give you the freedom to be an #########.

    Again though I could be incredibly mistaken because I'm applying UK reading to US law, and if anyone in America asides from the person I'm responding to (because I don't trust them to be unbiased) wishes to correct my understanding go right ahead- I'd love to know more.

    oh no i fully agree with everything that you had said here. I am an american (sad to say) and i dont believe youre wrong in the slightest.

  • @Accept_Flow123 said:

    https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/1665758#Comment_1665758

    oh no i fully agree with everything that you had said here. I am an american (sad to say) and i dont believe youre wrong in the slightest.

    Partial Law A-Level coming in hot!

  • I really wish the devs would temporarily ban people over this stuff. I play survivor and other survivors have said some very racist, misogynistic, homophobic and ableist (if that's the term???) remarks. I've gotten a few very graphic death threats too (one for not jumping through the hatch before the killer closed it). I don't take these personal, but I don't think it's okay for people to hide behind their screens and act like they're invincible and say whatever they want. In real life they'd probably get beat up

  • @GoodBoyKaru said:

    https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/1667149#Comment_1667149

    Oh no, formulating long arguments with reasoning and proof is what I do best, even if it doesn't get through to the person it helps other people recognise my point of view and maybe I can teach people a thing or too. Thanks for the concern though mate <3

    No worries mate. I don't want your efforts wasted, that's all

  • @SpookyPumpkinPiez said:

    I really wish the devs would temporarily ban people over this stuff. I play survivor and other survivors have said some very racist, misogynistic, homophobic and ableist (if that's the term???) remarks. I've gotten a few very graphic death threats too (one for not jumping through the hatch before the killer closed it). I don't take these personal, but I don't think it's okay for people to hide behind their screens and act like they're invincible and say whatever they want. In real life they'd probably get beat up

    Did you report them?

  • @Accullla said:

    https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/1667323#Comment_1667323

    No worries mate. I don't want your efforts wasted, that's all

    As long as someone learned something (which, turns out, I did because now I know what the First Ammendment of the US Constitution says and what it means, and I got my reading confirmed to be true by @Accept_Flow123) then my efforts weren't wasted.

  • @EverflowingRiver said:

    https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/1667036#Comment_1667036

    Read the post from you which was quoted in my response. It's that simple.

    you don't make sense, sorry :(

  • First page bud you said, "About these guys and girls which use a certain violent language and behaviour just because they are unable to empathise."

    Sorry you don't remember what you said. But since you think language is violent, I guess I should use my words better.

  • No without proof, and whether it can be bothering I do need to say I agree with it. Although I do agree that there should be an easier way to add proof, no one is always recording or such stuff to be able to do that.

  • Yes. The mods get chat logs automatically. It's only for other stuff that you might require video proof.

  • @EverflowingRiver said:

    https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/1664844#Comment_1664844

    Really, you thought that language was violent? I think I need surgery now my eyes rolled so hard.

    And while highly unlikely, maybe the guy was asking OP an honest question.

    You say that they may have been asking me genuinely if I were disabled as if it's okay to do so. Wpuld you walk up to a stranger face to face and ask them if they were disabled?


    Wherever the concept of "censoring free speech" came up...imagine needing to insult minority groups because you are literally unable to use ANY other words. Also this isn't about free speech, which i firmly believe in. This is some person initiating a conversation to insult me by implying i am less skilled than the average human because to them disabled = no skill. I'd like to see them memorize the Periodic table in a day.

  • @Markness said:

    Sorry to hear about that, but here is some harsh advice for you that you need to hear... grow some thicker skin. It's the internet, so don't get too bent out of shape over some person's comment when they have no idea who you are and won't think for more than a split second about what they've said after they've said it....

    Is this a millenial thing? (I am a millenial btw, but everyone seems to get offended by everything nowadays.. the gen-z/soccer moms would not have been able to handle old-school cod lobbies or UT2004 when people could spam you with a lot worse).

    He already said he was not angry about it! Did you even read it?!

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