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LCGaster

LCGaster

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LCGaster
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  • This is from 101 to 200

    1. Dr. Bright is not O5-█-J. No such position exists at this time.
    2. Dr. Bright is not allowed to give SCP-239 a copy of any Harry Potter books.
      1. What did you do?
    3. Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-141 to give people parking tickets.
    4. Dr. Bright is not allowed to send anything into the past, future, or to alternate dimensions.
    5. Dr. Bright is not allowed to accuse people of being duplicates of himself with the intention of having them terminated, unless they actually are duplicates of himself.
      1. Dr. Clef is not allowed to convince people Dr. Bright is a copy of him.
    6. Dr. Bright may not put "A cup of orgasm" from SCP-294 through SCP-914 on the Very Fine setting.
      1. Dr. Bright may not use SCP-294 to create a "cup of memetic orgasm" and use it on worldwide television.
      2. Dr. Bright is not permitted to use SCP-294 to create orgasms of any kind, memetic, sentient or otherwise.
      3. Given the results of requesting a cup of "Dear God No", Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to use SCP-294 directly or outside of approved testing.
      4. Given that he asked another staff member to request a "Cup of Explodium" from SCP-294 to "see what would happen", Dr. Bright is not allowed to ask other staff members to access SCPs for him, no matter how instructive, funny or helpful the results would be. The only exception to this is SCP-963.
    7. Dr. Bright is not allowed to get on the PA system at site 19 and announce that he just won The GameYou know what, Dr. Bright is just never allowed on the PA system for any reason, ever.
    8. Dr. Bright is not allowed to organize, authorize, or create in any form, a "Foundation Demolition Derby, starring SCPs 2383-J, 708, 666-J, 2558-J, 1543-J, 2041-J, 2103-J, 968, 462, 115, and 225 for the grand finale" No.. just no. Not even if you try to throw in 682 trying to disguise it as a termination attempt.
    9. Dr. Bright is no longer allowed access to SCP-732 infected documents along with SCP-239. MTF-Lambda-2 has been dispatched to contain "Chowderclef".
    10. Dr. Bright is not allowed to make, accept, or take a rake-off on, bets concerning XK-class End-of-the-World Scenarios.
    11. Dr. Bright is not allowed to request access to all cubical SCPs to make a fort of any kind.
    12. Dr. Bright is not allowed to order anyone to infiltrate the women's locker room.
    13. Dr. Bright is not allowed to play "hot potato" with SCP-963.
    14. Dr. Bright is not allowed to arrange, schedule, advertise, promote, or sell tickets to, "cage matches" between Able and SCP-682 any SCPs.
    15. We don't care HOW many O5's agree to it and how many precedents there are, Dr Bright is not allowed a pet SCP.
    16. Dr. Bright is not allowed to combine a cadaver infected with SCP-008 with SCP-217.
    17. Dr.'s Bright and Clef are no longer allowed to engage in research any activity involving 40 gallons more than a pound any amount of superballs.
      1. Also, the aforementioned are not to convince blackmail compel D-Class personnel anybody into conducting such activities for them.
    18. "Challenge Accepted" is not a valid excuse for anything.
    19. Dr Bright is not allowed to lease out SCP-002, even especially if he includes the option to buy.
    20. Dr. Bright is not allowed to dress up as Joseph Stalin and ambush Agent Strelnikov in the hallways.
      1. Actually, Dr. Bright shouldn't be allowed to dress up as any Communist dictator, there's no way it could end well.
    21. Dr. Bright is not to be allowed access to the cafeteria menu more than a day in advance six hours in advance at all, nor is he to get anyone else to access it for him, directly or indirectly.
    22. Dr. Bright is not allowed to introduce small children to the "the Giving Tree."
    23. Dr. Bright is not allowed to 'borrow' SCP-159 for his office.
    24. Dr. Bright is not allowed near any carbonated beverages while in possession of Mentos-branded mints. The last time that happened, he somehow managed to cause an earthquake in the East Coast of the United States. Dr. Bright is not allowed to claim responsibility for earthquakes and other natural disasters unless he is actually responsible for them.
    25. Dr. Bright is not allowed to dare new personnel anyone to play 'peek-a-boo' with either SCP-569 or SCP-173.
    26. When ordering things online, send them to PO Box ████ and not directly to Site 19. We've already had three postmen show up at the front door. (How did they even find us?) Dr. Bright is not to give directions to Site 19 to non-Foundation personnel.
    27. Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to give navigational directions to Site 19 anywhere, even especially to Foundation personnel.
    28. The SCP Foundation does not have any such position as "Chief Defenestrator".
      1. Wrong.
        1. Agent Clef is not allowed to create new positions.
    29. Any proposed containment procedure that includes the phrase "Giant Robot" is to be automatically rejected.
    30. Excessive force is not the same as the Force, therefore using it does not make Dr. Bright a Jedi.
    31. Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-914 to craft items from Team Fortress 2.
      1. Yes, a Medigun would be a useful tool for the Foundation medical staff. No, we are not going to waste any more SCP-500 attempting to make one, especially not after SCP-427.
      2. Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-914 to craft items from Minecraft, either. Also, your "Diamond Pickaxe" has been confiscated.
    32. Dr. Bright is not allowed to tell future hosts that "You are about to become very Bright".
      1. And he can't tell anyone that "Possession is nine-tenths of the law".
      2. Dr. Bright is not allowed to refer to D-class personnel as "extra lives".
    33. Dr. Bright is not allowed to send SCP-1004 over an email message.
    34. No matter the electricity savings, no product of SCP-158 is to be used for illumination.
    35. SCP-001 is not Dr. Bright's penis.
      1. The hammer is not his penis.
      2. Dr. Bright is not allowed to use his genitals for construction purposes.
    36. Dr. Bright possesses the ability of consciousness transfer and the artifact SCP-963. He does not possess any of the following:
      1. "laser" eyes.
      2. "laser" nostrils.
      3. "laser" [REDACTED].
      4. a Green Red ANY Lantern Ring.
      5. an "adamantium" skeleton.
      6. Anduril.
      7. Mjolnir.
      8. a map leading to "ALL OF THE NAZI GOLD".
      9. the "Ancient" medallion.
      10. a copy of the Necronomicon.
        1. A King James version of the Necronomicon.
      11. cybernetic implants of any kind.
      12. the "Dragonzord". I don't care how you did it, put it BACK.
      13. the 7th Element of Harmony.
      14. infallible "gaydar".
      15. infallible "jewdar".
      16. the touch.
      17. the power.
      18. the "secret"
      19. telepathy.
      20. telekinesis.
      21. the original filming model of any fictional spacecraft.
      22. 1337 H4x00r sKi11z.
      23. the 6th sense.
      24. The ability to distinguish between butter and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
    37. If Dr. Bright's current form is sighted near an armory without express permission, initiate Evacuation Procedure ███-██.
    38. Dr. Bright is not allowed to test SCP-826 with his self-authored comic book entitled "Dr. Bright and the 79 Virgins" Playboy magazines anything.
    39. #%^&@Dr. Bright iz a genius! Second best only to meh! he & I are buds lolz!#$%^
      1. Dr. Bright is not allowed to give SCP-732 access to this document.
        1. Dr. Bright is not allowed to give any SCP access to this document without O5 approval.
    40. We have never had a Jamaican Vacation Giveaway, Dr. Bright is not in charge of it, and SCP-342 is not the official Foundation Travel Voucher.
    41. Dr. Bright is not allowed to challenge SCP-082 to a drinking contest. (Even if he's positive he can win.)
    42. Dr. Bright is not allowed to convince other personnel that they are actually Dr. Bright.
    43. Dr. Bright is not allowed to tell new D-Class personnel that SCP-439 has escaped into the barracks.
    44. Dr. Bright is not allowed access to SCP-243 except under strict supervision. I think we all remember the great marital-aid migration of 2011.
    45. Dr. Bright is not allowed to challenge Dr. Gerald to a race involving any sort of vehicle. Dr. Bright is not allowed to challenge Dr. Gerald to a race involving anything.
    46. Dr. Bright is not allowed to access the IT department hotline access the IT department databaseaccess any networking equipment belonging to the IT department.
    47. Dr. Bright is not to bring samples of SCP-1361 to Foundation potlucks, barbeques, or charity food drives.
    48. SCP-963 is not a 'soul gem', and making a contract with Dr. Bright will not turn you into a 'magical girl'.
      1. Not even if he includes a 'magical girl outfit'.
    49. SCP-137 is never to be used on sex toys.
      1. Under no circumstances is Dr. Bright allowed to expose SCP-137 to Warhammer 40K minifigures. Again. Not even in an attempt to terminate SCP-682.
      2. Or anything made by Wondertainment.
    50. Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to produce, create or remind staff of "SCP Robot Wars".
    51. Able is not Kratos.
    52. Dr. Bright is not allowed to go trick-or-treating, ever.
    53. Not allowed to have Able get into arguments with forum trolls.
    54. Copies of SCP-1981 are not to be submitted to "America's Funniest Home Videos".
      1. Or posted on YouTube.
      2. Or on YouPorn.
      3. Or to Tosh.0.
    55. Dr. Bright is not allowed to "Just Say No!" to O5 orders on the grounds that they are instances of SCP-5200-J.
    56. Dr. Bright is also not allowed to refer to O5 Command MTF commanders the Janitor any Foundation personnel as "the cool kids".
    57. Dr. Bright is not the "final boss" of anything.
    58. Dr. Bright has not "won the internet" and is not authorized to declare that any other individual has done so.
      1. Nor is he allowed to claim or distribute instances of SCP-335 under said premise.
    59. Dr. Bright is not to show junior staffers his 'cutie mark'.
      1. Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-137 on any Hasbro product.
    60. Dr. Bright is not allowed to "take SCP-1187 for a morning ride".
    61. Dr. Bright is not allowed to submit any incident reports to the Darwin Awards. Not even if you are sure it would win.
    62. Dr. Bright is not allowed to teach SCP-1370 to play multiplayer video games. It was not an improvement giving it the vocabulary of the average preteen ████ player, or introducing it to the concept of "teabagging."
    63. The eye-pods do not need hats, bow ties or any other form of clothing.
    64. Dr. Bright is not allowed to use expunged data in SCP reports as "mad-libs."
    65. Robo-Dude is not a piece of the Broken God.
    66. Dr. Bright is not allowed to create an anatomically-correct body pillow modeled after SCP-173, SCP-105, SCP-999-J, SCP-076-02, or Dr. Crow.
    67. The following are not appropriate sources for D-class personnel:
      1. Temp agencies.
      2. Craigslist.
      3. Reality show talent pools.
      4. Jerry Springer tapings.
      5. "Orphans."
      6. "Urchins."
      7. "Ragamuffins."
      8. "Those sons of bitches who scratched up my paint job at the car wash."
      9. Ex-girlfriends.
      10. Ex-boyfriends.
      11. Ex-partners of any gender variation whatsoever.
      12. Staff members' in-laws.
      13. Youtube comment threads.
      14. Forum trolls.
      15. Angsty teens.
      16. Bad applications to the SCP Foundation. Two exceptions have been made, but the rest are off limits.
      17. Occupy Wall Street.
      18. The Tea Party.
      19. The Green Party.
      20. The "Green" Party.
      21. The Gathering of the Juggalos.
        1. How the ######### do they work?
    68. The following items are not SCPs:
      1. Rainbows.
      2. Double rainbows.
      3. "Rainbooms", whether sonic or otherwise.
      4. The tides.
      5. The Moon.
      6. "######### magnets".
      7. Rocks that skip three times before they go underwater.
      8. Soy cheese.
      9. Hippies.
      10. Hipsters.
      11. "MILFs."
      12. "G-MILFs."
      13. "GG-MILFs."
      14. "Actually funny SNL skits" As these do not exist, they cannot be SCPs.
      15. Anyone's breasts.
      16. People who can solve Rubik's Cubes (of any size).
      17. Shiny Any Pokemon.
    69. Playing the song "Thriller" in the presence of SCP-008 victims is expressly forbidden.
      1. Letting out SCP-008 victims and punching them "to simulate Minecraft" is also forbidden.
    70. SCP-682 does not have a Wondertainment logo stamped on its upper palate.
      1. or on its posterior.
      2. Pushing several agents in front of SCP-008 victims "to simulate Resident Evil" is not a valid excuse, either.
      3. Dr. Bright is no longer allowed near victims of SCP-008.
    71. Anything involving the words "elephant sauce". Site 19 is still recovering from the last incident.
    72. Filming, directing, or performing in celebrity sex tapes are not appropriate work assignments for Mr. Deeds.
    73. SCP-682 will not be sated by the ritual sacrifice of a virgin.
    74. Dr. Bright is no longer invited to the Annual Foundation Holiday Party.
      1. Dr. Bright is not allowed to host his own Foundation Holiday Party.
      2. The Foundation Holiday Party is cancelled indefinitely.
    75. SCP-173 is not a babysitter. Having SCP-173 play 'Where's the baby?' is downright cruel. Not, as Dr. Bright claims, '[EXPLETIVE] hilarious.'
    76. "Yo mama" is not "so ugly SCP-096 didn't look at her."
    77. The Serpent's Hand is not a synonym for masturbation.
    78. The foundation has no Mobile Task Force dedicated to the capture and containment of forum trolls.
      1. Dr. Bright is not allowed to found a new Mobile Task Force dedicated to the capture and containment of forum trolls.
    79. "Why not?" is not considered authorization for SCP cross-testing.
    80. The Realdoll™ Dr. Bright purchased does not have security clearance for anything.
      1. Not even if it writes reports better than Dr. Kondraki.
    81. SCP-1916 only works if administered orally. We know this. There is no reason to test further, Dr. Bright.
    82. Dr. Bright is not allowed to stick refrigerator magnets to Foundation equipment SCP-914 SCP-882 SCP-217 victims piece of the Broken God Any magnetic objects within Foundation control.
    83. Dr. Bright is not allowed to write a SCP-582 account in order to deal with junior staff members who get on his nerves.
    84. The Chaos Insurgency has no interest in "summoning Daemons to the material universe to serve the Ruinous Powers of Chaos" and therefore, Dr. Bright is not permitted to inform new researchers otherwise.
    85. Dr. Bright does not remind anyone of "the babe with the power of voodoo", and is not allowed to tell anyone else that they remind him of same.
    86. Dr. Bright may not attempt to neutralize SCP-682 using "the Power of Friendship", "the Power of Love", or any other sort of "Power" which has not been proven to actually exist.
    87. Dr. Bright is not allowed to claim he "has been trained to conquer galaxies".
    88. The answer to a containment breach is never to "recruit a team of teenagers with attitude".
      1. Or to "send five rings to five special young people".
      2. Or to ask junior staffers if they are "bad enough dudes" to contain the breach.
    89. Putting an equine, no matter how small, through SCP-914 on very fine again is strictly forbidden.
      1. No you cannot keep it.
    90. Dr. Bright should refrain from trying to convince SCP-237 to become a "Brony".
      1. Not even to improve his disposition.
      2. For that matter, trying to make SCP-042 a Brony will just make things worse.
    91. SCP-963 is not a "Millennium" item.
    92. Dr. Bright is not allowed to test internet "Creepypasta" rites using Class-D personal.
    93. The platypus is not an SCP. No, really. No, not even an -EX.
    94. Nobody ever refers to Dr. Bright as "Tim" and he is no longer allowed to introduce new personnel to SCP-524.
    95. "I like a little junk in the trunk" is not valid authorization to feed SCP-1575-1 to an elephant.
    96. Dr. Bright is, under no circumstances, to attempt possession of SCP-682.
    97. "I touched SCP-1453 a lil' while ago" is not a valid excuse for any containment breach.
    98. "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" does not imply that pants and undergarments are not required parts of the dress code.
      1. Doubly so, since, "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service," is not a part of any official foundation dress code.
    99. Dr. Bright is not to use this list as a resume.
    100. Dr. Bright shalt not may not begin his sentences with "Thou shalt not", even especially in the presence of SCP-343.


    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • Things Dr. Bright is not allowed to do at the Foundation

    1. Dr. Bright is not allowed to feed anything with peanut butter to Kain.
    2. Telling new researchers that you can tame SCP-682 with a rolled up newspaper and a tummy rub is right out.
    3. No longer allowed to challenge Able to unwinnable games like tic-tac-toe. It was three weeks before Able conceded a draw.
    4. SCP-018 is not to be taunted!
    5. Giving 113 to Diogenes is just plain pointless.
    6. Attempting to disprove 343, to 343, is a horrible idea. Agents are still studying the resulting paperweight, supposedly so heavy that 343 should not be able to lift it.
    7. While it is true that "No one expects the SCP Inquisition!", that is only because there is no such thing.
    8. Dr. Bright is not king of anywhere. Or queen.
    9. SCP-963 is not to be used for recreational or procreational purposes.
    10. Although it is entirely possible to use SCPs currently under control of the Foundation to create tentacle monsters, no.
      1. Not even if Dr. Palmer asks nicely.
    11. There is no market for SCP brand pornography.
      1. No, not even in Germany.
      2. It probably would generate a great deal of revenue if sold in Japan but still, 682 on █████, Jesus Christ man.
    12. Should not replace the buckshot in Dr. Clef's shotgun shells with any of the following: birdseed, confetti, cake sprinkles, sawdust, or sexual lubricant.
    13. Should not replace Dr. Rights' lamp with a "novelty" lamp shaped like a marital aid.
      1. Should not replace Dr. Rights marital aids with a 'novelty' aid shaped like a lamp.
    14. The Better Business Bureau is not the correct agency for dealing with containment failures from horrible eldritch artifacts sold by Marshall, Carter, and Dark.
    15. Dr. Bright must never come in contact with anyone under the age of 18. Let him contact them. It's the only way they'll learn. Just because it is a learning experience, does not mean anyone needs to come in contact with Bright.
    16. Any requests by Dr. Bright to utilize SCP-212 for enhancement are to be denied, due to several requests being submitted with the research goal stated as "to stick my privets in it and hope for the best."
      1. This includes requests to use it for enhancement of other organs. I don't care how awesome you think it would be, Bright. You should not be allowed to have telekinesis.
    17. Victims of SCP-217 are not toys.
    18. Dr. Bright is not allowed to bargain with personnel for their "souls" if they are unaware of SCP-158.
    19. Don't let Dr. Bright get a sample of SCP-379. Let my laptop be the last victim.
    20. Not allowed to go off my medication.
      1. Not allowed to pretend I have any medication to be on.
    21. May not use any form of the word 'accident' as an excuse.
    22. Violate the dress code, even on 'casual' Fridays.
      1. No matter how many times you say please, Dr. Bright, we won't put any of the hats you've been asking about into the dress code.
      2. Nor are you allowed to create and wear hats made using or out of various anomalous objects. We understand that your SCP-894 top hat collection has some tactical value, but that is not a valid reason to wear them in the presence of other researchers.
    23. If an SCP file says never to do something, it is not because we want to control your mind. Yes it is.
      1. No, it's not, and Dr. Bright may not edit this document.
    24. SCP-437 is not to be handed out as weaponry to unsuspecting new researchers.
    25. [DATA REDACTED ON O5 REQUEST]. Not even for recreational use.
    26. Not allowed to send Nigerian-esque spam email to the Church of the Broken God.
    27. Not allowed to lead a Mobile Task Force against the UIU under any circumstances. without inviting Dr. Clef at all. In fact, just stay 500 feet away from any Mobile Task Force at all times.
    28. Not allowed to end reports with lyrics from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air".
      1. But is allowed to end with lyrics from the Safety Dance.
      2. The interpretive dance routine, however, is forbidden until he gets lessons for the foreseeable future.
    29. Dr. Bright is not allowed anywhere near a Renaissance Festival.
      1. Especially not with D-class in garb.
      2. Nor is she allowed to shock the monkey.
      3. Or anything else related to the monkey.
    30. Dr. Bright is not allowed to challenge anyone to a duel, and then give them SCP-572.
      1. Dr. Rights is not allowed to spank the monkey.
    31. Dr. Bright is not allowed to administer spankings to Dr. Rights as punishment, as it only causes more rules to be broken.
      1. No, it doesn't matter that they are both "consenting adults", no matter how much either of them argue otherwise.
    32. [REDACTED], [REDACTED] hard.
    33. Dr. Bright is not allowed to use any SCP to alter or affect the outcomes of any reality based television shows, including but not limited to Survivor, Big Brother, Hell's Kitchen, American Idol, or any dating show on VH1.
      1. Not even if Dr. Rights asks nicely.
    34. SCP speed dating never happened. Any one who claims to remember such an event should report to Site Command for administration of Class A amnesiac.
    35. Chainsaws are not the solution to every question.
      1. Nor is 'More Chainsaws'.
      2. Or "Chainsaw cannons"
        1. Except for that one time. And yes, it was awesome.
    36. Dr. Clef and Dr. Bright are not allowed to interact without the presence of a responsible administrator.
      1. Dr. Kondraki does not count as a responsible administrator.
      2. Nor does Agent Strelnikov.
      3. Or Dr. Mann.
      4. In fact, let's just keep the two of them apart, period.
    37. Dr. Bright is not allowed near SCP-5555-J in any way or any excuse. Remember what the miniature version did to Dr. L██████.
    38. Dr. Bright is not from an alternate timeline.
      1. Dr. Bright cannot issue orders to "preserve the timeline".
      2. Or to "corrupt the timeline".
      3. Or to "screw with those history nerds".
    39. Dr. Bright is not allowed to apply SCP-963 to any major political figures. Again.
    40. No longer allowed to make up jodies for morning calisthenics.
      1. Yes, this includes The Mickey Mouse Club song.
    41. There is no Ethics Committee.
      1. And even if there was, does anyone believe Dr. Bright would be on it?
      2. As anything other than a 'What not to do?'
    42. If a mind-controlling SCP is discovered, it is to be turned over to the proper authorities. It is not to be used to advance himself or others higher in the Foundation. Kondraki
      1. Taking said mind controlling SCP to a strip club or Vegas shall be right out.
      2. Dr. Bright is NOT: A superhero of any sort, Head of Public Relations, in charge of Orientation for new staff, a doctor of psychology, a member of Site Command, made out of bacon, in possession of a IQ over 300, Head of SCP Review, or a member of Maintenance Staff. (Sorry boys, Dr. Bright IS a member of Site Command. It's usually best not to ask why. It's O5 Command you're thinking of.)
    43. SCP-963 is not a joy buzzer.
    44. Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-███ to make 'kick me' signs.
    45. SCP-082 is not to be given song requests, especially not "Like A Virgin".
    46. "Accidentally" spilling green gelatin on a dead body in the presence of the O5 was funny exactly once, and the smell of excrement exuding from O5-2's khakis spoiled the moment.
    47. Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to utter the phrase "More than 1,000 babies" in the presence of any SCP personnel.
    48. Nothing in the Foundation is rated 'Over 9000.'
    49. Stop posting classified information on 4-chan.
    50. No using SCP-705 for personal gain.
      1. Or to plant monitoring equipment.
      2. And absolutely no giving them tons of extra Play-Doh 'just to see what they can make.' That Mecha was damned annoying!
    51. If Dr. Bright has to ask, it's above his clearance level.
      1. If it's above Bright's security clearance… run.
    52. If it involves something right, you did it wrong.
    53. If it involves doing something wrong, it isn't right.
    54. Dr. Bright is not allowed to declare war on any country, thing or person.
    55. A stripper a day keeps the doctor away. Dr. Bright is not allowed to contribute to this list. Besides, ██% of Foundation staff have their Ph.D. It'd take more than one stripper to keep them away.
      1. That is not a challenge!
    56. Foundation credit cards or expense accounts are not to be used to purchase pornography.
      1. Not even anomalous pornography.
    57. Dr. Bright is not a "marital aid" and cannot refer to himself as such. Especially on official documents.
    58. Dr. Bright is not the Lord of Rodly Might.
      1. And is hereby banned from playing Dungeons and Dragons making use of SCPs to 'simulate the real danger.'
    59. Dr. Bright is not allowed to go to fan conventions.
      1. Let alone use them as recruitment drives.
      2. Especially not at Furry Conventions.
    60. When writing a report, more detail is expected than "Object class: Keter. Special Containment Procedures: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Description: [DATA EXPUNGED]."
      1. And inventing new security clearances just so nobody can see what you've written is also considered poor form.
    61. Showing Monty Python episodes to SCP-239 was not a wise decision. Please never try this with any other reality warping SCP.
    62. "For the Emperor" is not an acceptable justification for any decision.
    63. "My evil twin did it" is no longer considered a viable excuse.
      1. Nor is "My good twin did it," considering the implications.
    64. Yes, forum trolls are annoying. No, they don't automatically become D-class personnel.
    65. Not allowed to lace 'orgasm muffins' with Ex-lax. Again.
    66. Dr. Bright is not allowed to send e-mails with memetic hazards attached.
      1. Not even when replying to spam.
    67. The "Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny" is not grounds to pit more than fifteen combative SCPs, including SCP-682 and Able, against each other.
      1. "Weeding out some of these angsty teens with attitude problems," however, is.
      2. Dr. Bright is not allowed to administer 'Free Hugs', nor an act called 'Surprise █████████'.
      3. "Suck Cock and Penis"
      4. "Let's use it on 682!"
      5. "Throw the cheese!"
      6. "That's it, you're on Keter Duty."
      7. "Can we put it in 914?"
      8. "Blood makes the grass grow, kill, kill, kill!"
      9. "######### trees, I climb clouds #########!"
      10. "Someone is getting stabbed."
        1. But some days, it should be.
      11. "Whose hand is that?"
      12. "If all else fails, poop on it."
      13. "If all else fails, there's always the sun."
      14. "We need bigger kittens."
      15. "Society of Creepy Perverts."
      16. "######### Death, War, Famine and Pestilence. We've got Clef, Gears, Kondraki and Bright."
      17. "Throw D-Class at it until it stops."
      18. "447 and dead bodies, two great tastes that taste great together."
      19. "The FBI are a bunch of pansies."
      20. "Who wants to see what I can make the president do in public?"
      21. "For the Horde!"
      22. "Science for the Science God!"
      23. "Make sure to wipe your feet on 2558!"
      24. "When in doubt, feed it to 682."
      25. "Slapstick, Clowns and Puns"
      26. "Drop the blanket now!"
      27. "Seduction, Coitus, and Pregnancy"
      28. "We always need more Dakka!"
      29. "Still Alive, and Found the Cake"
      30. "Don't Worry, O5 won't ever figure it out!"
      31. "Will it blend?"
      32. "Commies love us!"
      33. "Snap Crackle and Pop"
      34. "Sex, Cocaine and Powwahh!"
      35. sexual healing
      36. 'more cowbell'
    68. The "Tamlin House School of Witchcraft and Wizardry" is just a plain bad idea.
    69. Despite what he may say and any evidence, no matter how plausible, the SCP Foundation has never and will never be associated with Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and regardless of what Dr. Bright may say, he is not, and I quote, "A real life wizarding tutor." And we ask him to stop showing us his "wand".
      1. Nor is he a vampire. That was body glitter and bad acting.
      2. And despite what the computer file on him may say, he is not Muad'dib. The spice can flow just fine without him.
    70. Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to offer the solution of "Use more guns" to any problem.
      1. Or "Get bigger guns."
    71. Despite his doctoral degree, Dr. Bright is not allowed to either prescribe or administer any of the following:
      1. enemas
      2. homeopathic remedies
      3. any sort of medication
      4. free hugs
      5. the healing power of laughter
    72. Attempts to use Foundation radio telescopes to contact omniscient and omnipotent extraterrestrial entities will result in a bill for any damage to local space-time, including the cost of demoting objects to dwarf planet status.
    73. Pranks placed into new staff's desks are not funny because they "liquefied in record time."
    74. A full minute of stunned silence means "My God what did you do?" not "Please continue."
    75. Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to play "Hippocratic Oath Chicken" with the medical staff.
    76. The Foundation motto is "Secure, Contain, Protect", not any of the following:
      1. "Stab Carrion Powerfully"
    77. Instances of SCP-2558-J-Ex are not to be spooked when being held by members of O5. No instances of SCP-2558-J should be anywhere near an O5, let alone SCP-2558-J-Ex.
    78. Any proposal which includes the phrase 'Metric ######### Load' is straight out denied.
    79. Not allowed to kick SCP-2558-J.
      1. Not allowed to play dodgeball with SCP-2558-J Not allowed to play any type of ball game with SCP-2558-J.
    80. Yes, empirical evidence is the foundation of science. Yes, blind faith is the death of reason. No, this does not logically imply that anyone is ethically obligated to demonstrate the existence of breasts under laboratory conditions.
    81. If Dr. Bright is ever found under the influence of any recreational substance, he must immediately be contained under level 15 containment. If you want to know why, please refer to the security tapes for ██/██/████ between the hours of ██:██ am and ██:██ pm.
      1. If Dr. Bright is found deliberately getting high to get out of paperwork, he is to be placed in a Type 4 cell and hosed down with cold water from a pressurised hose for no less than 5 minutes. Maybe this will teach you that drugs are bad, m'kay?
    82. Cthulhu and R'lyeh are not valid reasons to send Pandora's Box out into the Pacific Ocean in order to capture them. Furthermore, these are not even SCPs, and I will find the person who decided to enter a database file for them.
    83. Dr. Bright is not allowed to upload visual memetic kill agents to 4chan 7chan any imageboard.
      1. Well, okay, maybe to 4chan. It'd be doing the gene pool a service.
    84. Dr. Bright cannot change the standard issue D-Class uniform to black pants with a red polo shirt.
      1. I see your reasoning, but we just don't want to be associated with Star Trek.
    85. No matter how many times he may claim it, no matter how many uniforms we may confiscate, Dr. Bright is not a ninja, nor has he ever been.
      1. No. Not even if he uses SCP-281 to do it.
    86. There are no security codes for:
      1. Zombie conga line
      2. Badass hat
      3. Vampire can-can
      4. Disco corpse
      5. Intense homoeroticism
      6. Hoo mama
      7. Necrophilia (I do NOT want to know!)
      8. Extreme crotch violence
      9. Man disguised as a palm tree
      10. Man with porn 'stache
      11. Kung fu rasta
      12. Puppy-eating monks
      13. Justifiable homicide of all you dumb ass mother humpers.
      14. Bright Family Reunion (Code Brown. Find a place to hide, and make sure you leave an offering of booze outside your door.)
      15. Dr. Kondraki beach party.
    87. Just because Bright is a doctor does not mean that he is the Doctor, no matter how many British men he possesses.
      1. No, SCP-963 is not proof against this.
      2. Nor is any structure that results from placing SCP-184 inside of a police call box.
      3. Adopting female members of the staff and calling them "companions" is right out.
      4. SCP-297 is NOT a sonic screwdriver.
      5. The Doctor who?
    88. While humour can be an effective way to improve staff morale, it is highly inappropriate to make "Your mum" jokes in the vicinity of SCP-597.
    89. Dr. Bright may not classify any researcher, including himself, as a memetic hazard.
    90. Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to accept or use the following as payment for bets:
      1. Your soul
      2. Anyone else's soul
      3. Virgin's blood
      4. Reproductive organs
      5. SCPs
      6. Memories (real or imagined)
      7. Pieces of your past I have no idea how that worked with Clef, but apparently he can do it.
      8. The island of Manhattan
      9. Beads
      10. Firstborn children
      11. Second-born children
      12. Red-headed stepchildren
      13. Rented mules
      14. Gold spun from straw
      15. A child's laughter
      16. A child's tears
      17. Virginity
      18. Anal virginity
      19. Aural Virginity
      20. Nasal Virginity (I do NOT want to know)
      21. Navel Virginity (What does this even MEAN?)
      22. Ponies
      23. Anyone's grandmother
      24. Anyone's grandfather
      25. Anyone's sister
      26. Any blood relative
    91. No matter how many times he photoshops himself into a picture of SCP-682, and no matter how many Australians he possesses, Bright is not, and never was, the "Crocodile Hunter".
      1. Nor does every SCP/D-Class "really hate it when you jam your thumb up their bum."
        1. And he is not allowed to do that "Right naow!"
    92. As funny as Incident 387/682-██ was, Dr. Bright is not allowed unsupervised access to SCP-387. Researchers are still trying to figure out how an animate model of 682 was so invulnerable, despite only being made of just plastic blocks.
    93. Dr. Bright is not allowed to tell new researchers experimenting on SCP-168 to divide by zero, find the square root of negative one, or find the last digit of pi using the SCP. Dr. ██████ is still comatose, and 168 itself is quite displeased with the event.
    94. Dr. Bright is not allowed to use examples from Star Trek when administering Turing tests to artificial intelligences of any sort. Computer hardware does not grow on trees, dammit!
    95. Dr. Bright is not allowed to plant SCP-2383-J into science labs. We're still picking up complaints from the office of Stephen Hawking.
      1. No, not even for the good of "SCIENCE"
      2. Or even as "Science for the Science God". Dr. Bright is also not allowed to refer to himself as such either.
    96. Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-587 to re-enact the locker scene from Men In Black, nor play Godzilla with its inhabitants.
      1. Nor is he allowed to set himself up as a god to them.
      2. Testing between SCP-786 and SCP-587 is also banned. "David and Goliath" scenarios are just as harmful to its inhabitants as the Godzilla incident.
      3. Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-786 to simulate "Dwarf Fortress".
    97. Dr. Bright is not allowed to show SCP-682 any of the following:
      1. any Uwe Boll movies
      2. The Room
      3. Troll 2
      4. Manos: The Hands of Fate
      5. movies considered "so bad they're good"
      6. movies considered "cult classics"
      7. you know what, Dr. Bright is just not allowed to show SCP-682 any movies at all, ever.
    98. Dr. Bright is not allowed to tell new researchers that typing "01100110011011110111001001101101011000010111010000 100000011000110011101001011100 0010000000101111010100010010111101██████" in a text file and renaming it "079.exe" will give them complete control over SCP-079.
    99. Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-559 with one candle in order to [DATA EXPUNGED] attempted breast-feeding incident.
      1. In fact, let's just amend that to 'Dr. Bright is not allowed to be breast-fed. Period'.
    100. Dr. Bright is not allowed to claim SCP-014-J has "Breached Containment" and then leave a dining fork in the hallway.


    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • I will post something very long, I hope it doesn't cause problems

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • We are there boys!!! Almost there!!!

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • @friendlykillermain

    They better not

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • @PhantomMask20763 This is for you


    Item #: SCP-096

    Object Class: Euclid

    Special Containment Procedures: SCP-096 is to be contained in its cell, a 5 m x 5 m x 5 m airtight steel cube, at all times. Weekly checks for any cracks or holes are mandatory. There are to be absolutely no video surveillance or optical tools of any kind inside SCP-096's cell. Security personnel will use pre-installed pressure sensors and laser detectors to ensure SCP-096's presence inside the cell.

    Any and all photos, video, or recordings of SCP-096's likeness are strictly forbidden without approval from Dr. ███ and O5-█.

    Description: SCP-096 is a humanoid creature measuring approximately 2.38 meters in height. Subject shows very little muscle mass, with preliminary analysis of body mass suggesting mild malnutrition. Arms are grossly out of proportion with the rest of the subject's body, with an approximate length of 1.5 meters each. Skin is mostly devoid of pigmentation, with no sign of any body hair.

    SCP-096's jaw can open to four (4) times the norm of an average human. Other facial features remain similar to an average human, with the exception of the eyes, which are also devoid of pigmentation. It is not yet known whether SCP-096 is blind or not. It shows no signs of any higher brain functions, and is not considered to be sapient.

    SCP-096 is normally extremely docile, with pressure sensors inside its cell indicating it spends most of the day pacing by the eastern wall. However, when someone views SCP-096's face, whether it be directly, via video recording, or even a photograph, it will enter a stage of considerable emotional distress. SCP-096 will cover its face with its hands and begin screaming, crying, and babbling incoherently. Approximately one (1) to two (2) minutes after the first viewing, SCP-096 will begin running to the person who viewed its face (who will from this point on be referred to as SCP-096-1).

    Documented speeds have varied from thirty-five (35) km/h to ███ km/h, and seems to depend on distance from SCP-096-1. At this point, no known material or method can impede SCP-096's progress. The actual position of SCP-096-1 does not seem to affect SCP-096's response; it seems to have an innate sense of SCP-096-1's location. Note: This reaction does not occur when viewing artistic depictions (see Document 096-1).

    Upon arriving at SCP-096-1's location, SCP-096 will proceed to kill and [DATA EXPUNGED] SCP-096-1. 100% of cases have left no traces of SCP-096-1. SCP-096 will then sit down for several minutes before regaining its composure and becoming docile once again. It will then attempt to make its way back to its natural habitat, [DATA REDACTED]

    Due to the possibility of a mass chain reaction, including breach of Foundation secrecy and large civilian loss of life, retrieval of subject should be considered Alpha priority.

    Dr. ███ has also petitioned for immediate termination of SCP-096 (see Interview 096-1). Order is awaiting approval. Termination order has been approved, and is to be carried out by Dr. ███ on [DATA REDACTED]. See Incident-096-1-A.

    Audio log from Interview 096-1:

    Interviewer: Dr. ███

    Interviewed: Captain (Ret.) █████████, former commander of retrieval team Zulu 9-A

    Retrieval Incident #096-1-A

    <Begin Log>

    [████████ ████████ Time, Research Area ██]

    Capt. █████████: It always sucks ass to get Initial Retrieval duty. You have no idea what the damn thing is capable of besides what jacked up information the field techies can scrape up, and you're lucky if they even tell you the whole story. They told us to "bag and tag." Didn't tell us [Bad Word] about not looking at the damn thing.

    Dr. ███: Could you describe the mission, please?

    Capt. █████████: Yeah, sorry. We had two choppers, one with my team and one on backup with Zulu 9-B and Dr. ██████. We spotted the target about two clicks north of our patrol path. I'm guessing he wasn't facing our direction, else he would have taken us out then and there.

    Dr. ███: Your report says SCP-096 didn't react to the cold? It was -██o C.

    Capt. █████████: Actually, it was -██. And yes, it was butt naked and didn't so much as shiver. Anyway, we landed, approached the target, and Corporal ██ got ready to bag it. That's when Dr. ██████ called. I turned to answer it, and that's what saved me. The target must have turned and my whole squad saw it.

    Dr. ███: That's when SCP-096 entered an agitated emotional state?

    Capt. █████████: Yep. [Interviewed now pauses for a second before continuing] Sorry. Got the willies for a second.

    Dr. ███: That's all right.

    Capt. █████████: Yeah. Well, I never saw its face. My squad did, and they paid for it up the ass.

    Dr. ███: Could you describe it a little more, please?

    Capt. █████████: [Pauses] Yeah, yeah. It started screaming at us, and crying. Not animal roaring though, sounded exactly like a person. Really ######### creepy. [Pauses again] We started firing when it picked up Corporal ██ and ripped off his leg. God, he was screaming for our help… [Bad Word]… anyway, we were blowing chunks out of the target, round after round. Didn't do [Bad Word]. I almost lost it when it started [DATA EXPUNGED] him.


    Dr. ███: That's when you ordered the use of an [Papers are heard moving] AT-4 HEDT launcher?

    Capt. █████████: An anti-tank gun. Started carrying it ever since SCP-███ got loose. I've seen those tear through tanks like tissue paper. Did the same thing to the target.

    Dr. ███: There was significant damage to SCP-096?

    Capt. █████████: It didn't even [Bad Word} flinch. It kept tearing apart my squad, but with half of its torso gone. [He draws a large half-circle across his torso]

    Dr. ███: But it was taking damage?

    Capt. █████████: If it was, it wasn't showing it. It must have lost all its organs, all its blood, but it didn't acknowledge any of it. Its bone structure wasn't hurt at all, though. It kept tearing my squad apart.

    Dr. ███: So no actual structural damage. How many rounds would you say were fired at SCP-096?


    Capt. █████████: At the least? A thousand. Our door gunner kept his GAU-19 on it for at least twenty seconds. Twenty [Bad Words] seconds. That's six hundred .50 caliber rounds pumped into the thing. Might as well been spitting at it.

    Dr. ███: This is when Zulu 9-B arrived?

    Capt. █████████: Yeah, and my squad was gone. Zulu 9-B managed to get the bag over its head, and it just sat down. We got it into the chopper and got it here. I don't know how I never saw its face. Maybe God or Buddha or whoever thought I should live. The jackass.

    Dr. ███: We have obtained an artist's depiction of SCP-096's face. Would you like to view it?

    Capt. █████████: [Pauses] You know, after hearing that thing's screams, and the screams of my men, I don't think I want to put a face to what I heard. No. Just… no.

    Dr. ███: All right, I believe we are done here. Thank you, Captain.

    [Chairs are heard moving, and footsteps leave the room. Captain (Ret.) █████████ is confirmed to have left Interview Room 22.]

    Dr. ███: Let this be on record that I am formally requesting SCP-096 be terminated as soon as possible.

    <End log>

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • COUNTRY ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADS TAKE ME HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME TO THE PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I BELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG WEST VIRGINIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TAKE ME HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME COUNTRY ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOADS

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • COME ON GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    WE CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • Imma scream

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • @friendlykillermain said:

    if anyone can find the secret message i hid type it out i will be impressed

    @PhantomMask20763 @LCGaster

    I won't read all of it

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • @PhantomMask20763 @friendlykillermain

    NOOOOO! THE BEE MOVIE IS BANNED FROM THIS THREAD!!!!

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH



    BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster
  • image.png

    God has abandoned us

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • Servers will fix this problem, don't worry :)

    in DCs will kill this game Comment by LCGaster

  • @TheRockstarKnight said:

    https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/456425#Comment_456425

    https://www.dailydot.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Sonic_hedgehog_teeth-e1556635931578.png

    Find something scarier than this. I dare you.

    I can't see the picture 😬

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • @PhantomMask20763

    There are scarier things than it 😈

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • @PhantomMask20763

    Those are actually pretty cool

    Also this is the poster for it's movie

    image.png


    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • @PhantomMask20763

    Hehehe~😈

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • @Shad03

    Oh god 😂

    Roro is scared of that thing :3

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • @PhantomMask20763

    image.png


    An eye for an eye😈

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • HE'S THE STUFF OF NIGHTMARES!!!!

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • @PhantomMask20763 said:

    So...I hear you all like Mr.Mime?

    https://us.v-cdn.net/6030815/uploads/370/5D7WMUC11CU1.jpg

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • @friendlykillermain said:

    https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/456346#Comment_456346

    i love them

    They're blyatiful

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • The mind controlling gems series

    image.png image.png image.png image.png

    This one is called Star-chan^

    image.png image.png image.png image.png

    Starking^

    image.png image.png image.png image.png

    This is the stuff of nightmares^

    image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png

    This one is called Starter 😂 ^

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • OH GOD, NOT AGAIN

    image.png


    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster
  • image.png

    Look at this nerd

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster
  • image.png

    Mewduo

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster
  • image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png

    ..

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster
  • image.png

    I would run if I saw something like this😂

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • OH GOD

    image.png


    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster
  • image.png

    I love this Pokemon Fusion thing

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster
  • image.png

    Cute

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster
  • image.png

    What is this thing

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • ..

    image.png


    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • @stringcheese said:

    https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/456284#Comment_456284

    most lobby dodges happen because the killer is afraid to play against any swf.

    At low ranks I guess. A lot of SWF abuse the ranking system to get easier games

    in don't complain about survivors dcing if you lobby dodge Comment by LCGaster

  • Yeet

    image.png


    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • My abominations

    image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png


    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • 93 boyss

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster
  • image.png image.png

    ..

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • If one DCs at the start or there are only 3 people I usually go easy on them for a bit. If there are 2 DCs near the start or only 2 people I will let them farm

    in Any other nice guy killers when there's a DC? Comment by LCGaster

  • @friendlykillermain said:

    @KillermainBTWm8 yeah if it exists its ready for prostitution

    ..

    image.png


    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • @friendlykillermain said:

    https://forum.deadbydaylight.com/en/discussion/comment/456144#Comment_456144

    jellyfish arent evil bags they deserve love

    Did you know that jellyfish literally evaporate when outside the water?

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • I love these memes

    image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png

    And this one

    image.png


    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • @Peasant said:

    This meme makes me nervous:

    https://us.v-cdn.net/6030815/uploads/732/MGYNN8VTIF16.png

    Oh no

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • Did someone say memes?

    image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png image.png


    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • Oh, did something happen?

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • Oh s***

    LET'S DO THIS!!!

    in The entity's hangout (we have a discord now! all are welcome) Comment by LCGaster

  • @Poweas

    Apparently I look like a 24 year old 😂

    in Who do you guys think are the most well known forum members? Comment by LCGaster
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