Pinebrook Prologue
Hi, everyone, welp today I am going to be showing you all the prologue for my short stories of Pinebrook. Just to tell you that this is just 1 page of the prologue and will progress as time goes on. I just want to thank you all for supporting and pushing me to get this done, for giving me advice as well. @Beelzeboop, @Wamps, @DoritoHead , ya'll have said you've been intrigued for quite some time my friends, well I hope you like it, and I would like you to give me honest criticsm ( if any) and feedback, Just be dead honest with it, I'm okay with it. But before we begin I will leave a warning for everyone right now
WARNING: The following contains, blood, gore, violence, sever language, adult themes, psychological horror, and definitely not for anyone below 18 ( Ironically including me lol), if you are uncomfortable with these themes please click out now.
The sound of air wooshing against the windshield as the sun went down. There sat a man who was chewing on his sub that was his 'dinner' was driving down the road while listening to the state’s classic rock station. His name was Elliot Ford, he was a semi truck driver. He was a rather short and stocky man, with a proud and boastful beard. Elliot took another bite of his meatball sub as he continued down the highway passing the fields, the oak trees, and the farms of Indiana.Suddenly the sound of a ringtone caught his attention. He grabbed the phone.
"Hello?"
His voice is a bit scraggly, the result of bad habits and exhausting work. He didn't check the number on the screen, but he could guess who it was.
" Hey you almost there yet, our client called us and the truck hasn't arrived." The voice on the other end asked. " Yes sir, I'm almost there, can't blame me with all this weather can you"? " I will if you don't get there on time." the voice responded Elliot sighed, he hated the bastard he calls a boss, it was always this and that for the man. Time is money, some he would call it.
" So if it is too much to ask, what's up with this town... Damn, I forgot what it was called, what was it again?" Elliott questioned " Pinebrook, it's a decent town with a bunch of shops and markets, it has a bit of an interesting history from what I've heard." The boss answered, " That's not a first." He commented, " Anyway I'm driving to the town, I’m looking for that gas station nearby.” “ Okay once you get their drop off the soda cans, potatoes chips, all of it, you got that?”
“Yeah, I’m al-.” Elliot was cut off by a loud clanging of bells, they were loud, foreboding, and there were chiming in the distance. “ Hey sir, was there anything about a bell tower in this town, hello?” Elliot questioned as he looked at his phone to see he lost connection and the phone to immediately power off. “The #########?” he worded, suddenly his truck lights flashed off surrounding the outside in the darkness. Elliot’s eyes widened, his belly tightens as he tried to get the truck lights back on, he lifted his foot off the gas pedal. However, he was still going at the same speed as he was before. “What the ######### is this?” he expressed with fear.
‘ Suddenly a loud groaning and whooshing from outside of the truck, it sounded like whispering, there was something human-like about it that unsettled Elliot. His head began to ache with pain worse than a common migraine, it drove him crazy. “ God damn it where am I!?” he screamed. Suddenly the lights of his truck shined once more, but instead, it shined on a building as the side of the truck slammed into sending it twirling on its side. Elliot screamed out but before long he banged his head against the truck, knocking him out cold.
The truck came to a foreboding halt. It stopped in front of a sign that everyone in town knew. It was the sign with the iron poles that have rusted in time. With a large decorated rectangle-shaped sign with it being colored in a green tint. The letters upon the sign were ingrained in brass and bolted upon it to give the sign a rundown yet magnificent look. The Words upon the sign read. “ Welcome to Pinebrook”.
Comments
I never watched stranger Things a whole lot, just the bits of season 1
oh, well, you should watch the rest, it's a pretty good show, and if you ever watch season 3 you'll know what I mean about the leftovers monster
Here are the pictures. Sorry it took so long, I don't have a phone or any sort of camera, so I had to ask my brother to take photos and Email them to me.
I was using charcoal drawing paper, which isn't the best for pencil drawing. I can do better drawings, I just wanted to scribble down what I imagined really quick.
If you can't read the text, I can supply a transcript.
I love the art and design for the Dollatrix, in a way that is exactly how I imagined them, I absolutely love that you added toes, I originally wasn't going to add heels and have them walk aroudn barefoot, but I changed it because I felt that it would add a bit of personality to the monsters. Now Furnace Head, his flaps are a lot longer past his knees, and his piece of iron covers his whole ab is box shaped, and reaching to his sides, which I forgot to mention that piece of metal on his chest is held down by belt like straps that extend to his back, but I absolutely love the attention to detail, you even added some details I wouldn't have thought about, overall I love this thank you so much!
Stranger Things is amazing, it's definitely worth a watch!
Whoa holy well done :O
I'll try to give it a look, but I'm not the master of the TV in my house
Aw, hopefully you're able to do it.
Not for a while, living in a Christian household has its ups and downs
Thank you for the compliments! I guess you pick up some things when you're in one of the most diverse and artistic fandoms on the internet. I plan on doing more refined drawings later on, as well as a drawing of a Pickeater.
I'm actually surprised I got so much right on Furnace Head. I remembered reading that Elliot could see its teeth through its mask, which was difficult enough without any references (since most respirator masks have the "mouth" respirator pointing down and I was assuming that FH had human-esque anatomy). I based his mask mostly off of Soviet civilian respirators:
(filter not pictured)
And also US military M17 gas masks:
Because both of them are fairly scary looking and heavily obscure the wearer's face, as opposed to actual firefighter respirators, which are very specifically designed to be non-threatening and distinctive so you know that this person ran into a burning building to help you, not kill you painfully and violently:
(take note of the visible area around the eyes)
I also wanted to mention some notes on my design for FH: part of the design I imagined for FH was that the pieces of cloth where actually separate pieces held onto his body by a chain, partially because it was easy, and partially because of what you wrote in the post explaining his symbolism, even though it wouldn't really make sense if he took the chain off.
In addition, I decided to give him a semi-sexualized, hyper-masculine appearance, since that works very well with themes of violence and sexual frustration.
With the Dollatrix (sorry that I got the name wrong in the picture), I tried to depict the body as a humanoid mound of liquid latex. With stitches everywhere, because rule of scary rules.
White latex was a bit of a challenge, though. Black latex is preferred by artists because it's the easiest to make look good with minimal effort, and, of course, its sexier and sleeker.
Also, I wanted the pose to simultaneously appropriate the the creature and uncanny, and I think I pulled it off fairly well. Possibly because I've seen bubblehead nurses before.
Thats cool also I forgot to mention the chain is wrapped around his legs, and some of its around his waist, another interesting fact is the flaps there are remnants of a straight jacket that was destroyed the flaps are all that remain of it. For the Dollatrix you some how created a extremely accurate description of the character, I don't want to change it at all, I do want to see the tongue or ideas of the tongue
I'll keep this in mind for next time. Thanks!
Okay so I found out the last page I posted was a page and half so today I'm sharing page 6 and half I guess. Thank you too everyone who has pushed me into writing this and I hope you all enjoy, so lets do this.
Elliot didn't know what to do, running was an obvious choice, but he didn't know what even was this thing. " Now, what was that about calling your nurse a #########?" Julie questioned menacingly, suddenly something pink spilled out from her glossy red lips. It wrapped around Elliots neck, it was wet, and slimy, it was a large protruding tongue. It was veiny even for a tongue, it was like a python, Elliot gasped for breath and to his horror saw Julie came for him. Elliot searched for his pocket knife in his right pocket, he unclipped it and with a swift slice he sliced off the large tongue, it fell to the floor wiggling. Julie screamed in agony, she stumbled back, her heels clicking against the floor.
It screamed and charged at Elliot with the syringe knocking back the pocket knife, Julie grabbed hold of Elliots right hand and Elliot grabbed her left. She was relatively strong, for some reason Elliot couldn't feel her bones, let alone anything solid underneath. Julie was beginning to easily wiggle out of his grasp, but Elliot tighten his grip, suddenly a powerful blow landed on his chin. Julie some how was flexible enough to kick him in such an angle, Elliot staggered to the floor and hastefully crawled for the knife, luckily he grabbed the knife, but was dragged by his feet. With the knife in hand Elliot quickly plunged it into her chest, she cried out and scampered away.
" NO, !" Julie cried, she immediately dropped the syringe, and scampered away holding onto her wound, as it leaked a vomit color substance. ELliot was breathing in and out, he was tired, spent, and pretty pissed. He stood up and began to stagger a bit, he turned his head left and right. " Well, at least she was kinky about it." Elliot commented, he stood up and looked at the knife, there was a crack in the blade that became clear it won't last long, he cursed then paced to the exit. His headache, apparently the wound in his head hasn't healed yet, which both irritated and aggravated Elliot more. One he He finally got to the door where he entered the Town hall, he grabbed the doors only for them to be locked " Damn it." he muttered.
He looked around for any where else to go, Elliot looked at his blade, he knew that he needed something better than a knife. Elliot began to make his way to a door as he opened slowly he heard the constant rushing of heels, the hairs on the back of his neck stood, Julie was close. Elliot opened the door and shut it as quietly as possible, he turned around to find a bunch of run down desks, the splattered corpse of a grey goose thing that was pinned to a wall, and a hammer that laid on the desk next to the whiteboard, it was calling his name. " That'll do." He commented.
Elliot tiptoed past the dusty desks, the room itself almost resembled a class room. In each desk Elliot noticed there were bloodied baskets like the stereotypical ones you would take on a picnic. However one had a large musical jolly chimps that had some blood, the one on the right corner next to the whiteboard had this rundown clown doll. He didn't put much thought as he finally paced over to the hammer, he reached for it and picked up the wooden handle that was actually made of plastic, Elliot growled. Suddenly a piece of the line that laid under the handle suddenly fell off the desk The clown doll awoke laughing its laughter. "Surprise". A voice emitted from the clowns voice it seemed to have been a recording of some kind.
The Jolly Chimp began clapping it cymbals together while laughing, suddenly there was crying within the cribs. " Babies?" Elliot questioned as he looked in the cribs to his horror looked like a deformed baby goose, crying like a human baby. Elliots' spine tingled knowing that Julie or whoever she is would hear, he looked around the room searching for a place to hide. Definitely not under the teacher's desk, his fat ass wouldn't fit under it, the closet would have to be his best option since there was almost next to no place for him to actually hide in. He bolted to the closet opened and hid there, praying to some god that he wouldn't be found.
I forgot to tag you guys. @QwQw ,@Beelzeboop @GoobyNugget @glitchboi, and @ClamorVentus
Oh, good morning! I'll read it right now!
This one was pretty good! Of course there were grammar errors in there but I still liked it! I love where Elliot doesn't really take it seriously sometimes, kinda like Ash Williams. He's like a minor comic relief.
Also damn Julie got destroyed
That is called a Dollatrix ( Doll-a-tricks), they are monster born to represent your lustful thoughts and fetishes, their shapeshifters, have no bones, but a large tongue they use to swallow their victims whole ( symbolizing the fetish of vore ) but they tend to pleasure themselves from their victims pain before eating them
@glitchboi shes not dead, however she almost did, see a Dollatrix' body mass is made up of entirely of a liquid they use to create the skin to blend in, they get these liquids from their victims, if their bodies are cut ( To symbolize how people will go to great lengths to be 'perfect') they cower in fear and run away in short a Dollatrix is a living breathing water balloon.
Well no but its how they eat, see they need to eat in order to produce the liquid that Julie used as a disguise, and since they have no bones they don't have any teeth to chomp at their food, they do however they have a acid released in their stomach in which... you get the idea. Dollatrix's don't mimic their actions exclusively to their victims
Oh I liked this one.
I have to question all the weird fuckery going on though. Like the dolls and the human-baby-goose thing. Well I guess we'll figure all that out later.
So this is basically like a nightmare? Everything's trying to kill him, probably.
Other than issues with the spelling, grammar and punctuation, this is really good. Since those issues can easily be taken care of, I won't go into detail, but I will say you have improved a bit on the subject.
I really like the concept for the goose baby monster things. Ugly Ducklings, maybe?
Also, it was impossible for me to read that line, "Well, at least she was kinky about it," without imagining Elliot putting on sunglasses, doing fingerguns at "Julie," and moonwalking out of the room. It's funny, but it kinda brutally annihilates the tone.
Unless you wanted to break the tension in the middle of an action scene, I would suggest toning it down a bit. Like specifying him saying it breathlessly, as opposed to just casually commenting on the fact that the hot stranger he just met's skin melted off and she tried to stab him with a needle the size of a small space station, and upon being stabbed leaked a vomit-like substance and scuttled away hissing.
You generally don't just casually comment on situations like that. And, plus, it feels really OOC given his previous responses.
I've been wanting to do some illustrations for the books, but I don't really have a good mental image of Elliot. Do you think you can give me a detailed description of what he looks like?
I meant for him to sound tired I just didn't know what the word was for it
You didn't even get the reference?
Was the clown doll a reference to Lucas's clown doll from RE7?
No the baby geese
No?
I feel like I'm missing something incredibly obvious...
'Go tell aunt Rhody... Go Tell Aunt Rhody... Go tell Aunt Rhody... that the old grey goose is dead. The goslings are crying, the goslings are crying, the goslings are crying because their mommys' dead.'- Go tell aunt Rhody I hope this helped 😁
Ohhhhhh.
Are those the actual lyrics to the song? I've only ever heard the RE7 version of it.
Yep, originally Go tell aunt Rhody told how they made feathered beds back in the day they would select a goose chop of f their heads, and extract their feathers, to make their feathered beds. What scary is that this a children's lullaby
Christ that's dark.
What jackasses thought "Hey, that'd make a great lullaby to tell to kids!"?
The Same group of jackasses who thought pop goes the weasel should be a children's lullaby llmao. anyway here is the of song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4vxDJKjoBI
Now that I think about, a lot of children's rhymes and lullaby's are dark.
I wonder why Capcom decided to pick a random song about killing geese for their horror game about an infected evil family.
I think it has to do with the fact that the childerens rhyme is very popular in Japan, idk they did a video about it I think
Huh. Never knew that.
Hey @Dabihwow, I got a bit of a surprise for you. I'm working on a little something...
NEW CHAPTER: WHISPERING PINES
New Killer: The Smelter
New Survivor: Elliot Ford
New Map: Pinebrook
Oh thats awesome, I'm excited, although if I was to make a chapter of Pinebrook for DBD, the survivor would be James Linderton, he has yet to make an appearance in the Prologue, but James is the main protagonist of Pinebrook, in a way he is the only character that resembles me In real life. Now you can do Elliot and I'll be fine with that, I'd love to see what you can make of it. You do you, is what I'm trying to say. Kinda spoilerish, but James Linderton will appear in the next few pages and you'll get an idea of his character
Oh alright then. Should I hold off until James has been introduced?
Can I get some detailed descriptions of Elliot and James?
I want to do some more illustrations, but I can't really do that if I don't have a really clear picture.
I mean, beard and stoutness are good, but I need an idea of what Elliot is wearing, or what his stance is like.
You can, but I want you to do what you want, plus you haven't read the outside area of Pinebrook yet now that the whole area has changed.
I think I'll hold of on making the survivor for now.
I could still work on Furnace Head in the meantime, even though we haven't really seen him all that much of him, I've already come up with some personal ideas of what his power could be.
Elliot when i first imagined him was wearing a sorta heavy metal jacket and wears work pants. I mentioned he has a beard which is curly and boastful, his hair I would think would follow that suit, he is caucasian. He also tends to have a pocket knife in his right, and wears a bandana on his head. Elliot has bad teeth and some pores due to his smoking and lack of health for his body
Now James, oh boy, when I first thought of James I thought of myself. James has very dirty blonde hair and dull blue eyes, he is a bit pudgy around his stomach and waist, yet he still physically healthy, he is around 6 ft 1. His face is oblong but a bit round with a little fat below his cheeks. He sports a short haircut and sometimes its a military cut, with some darkened eye sockets( Think like Cheryll Mason except not as bad) . he also wears a leather jacket although not the expensive ones, that is brown in color. He tends to wear dark pants always, whether it'd be jeans, or sweat pants. He also wears hiking boots, or western boots, and he has a pair of sneakers. One thing James loves is Baseball, and has a baseball bat at home, he is kind, protective of those he care about, understanding of others, and willing to say 'oh ######### it, I'm gonna help you', even if he is tired or stress he'll do it.
Hope this is enough
Yeah, this is good.
I have an idea for a drawing now. See you in a bit!
I actually made a Pinebrook chapter once. Furnace Heads' power was... ######### to be honest, but that was before I was able to flesh him out. TO start he had a perk called Hands of blood: When a survivor leaves a gen that had 50/60/70% of it completed they are afflicted with rites of pain any time they touch a generator that wasn't the previous one will call upon the entity to block that Generator.
That was just one another I had called Flames of Rage:When you lose someone in a chase, the next hit you do causes the broken and hemorrhage status effect.
And finally we have rites of pain: whenever a survivor fails a skill check the killers terror radius is reduced to 12/16/24 meters, and the aura of the one who failed said skill check is revealed to you and they suffer from the exposed status effect.
However I want to see what you had in mind so let these jsut be some ideas if you want and make your own perks I want to see what you have in mind for this killer
Alright then, I'll see what I can do.
Ironically I was both writing this when @QwQw told me he was making a chapter concept, I wanna see what you make my friend, but here is the next page now this one is probably the hardest page I've ever posted. Not just because it was hard to write it, but it was something I was very uncomfortable writing. This page is cut thankfully, but once the book comes out you will get the un-cut version. So lets begin and also thank you to everyone who pushed me @GoobyNugget @Beelzeboop @ClamorVentus, and @glitchboi . So without further a do lets begin
The clicking of heels grew louder, echoing, until Elliot heard the sound of the door opening and closing. The thing called Julie stood in the middle of the classroom, but now she was carrying a rusty bonesaw in her right hand. "What do we have here"? she questioned as she curiously stepped closer to the crying geese, Julie then peered inside of the crib and cooed. " Aw poor things, did Aunt Rhody take your mommy you poor Rhodies." Julie cooed, she looked over to the chimp that continued to clap its cymbals. Something about it intrigued her, Elliot although couldn't make out her face it was clear she showed interest. She knocked it off the table and it landed to the floor broken, and it stopped its clapping of cymbals
She turned around and saw the clown, the creature nearly gasped at the site, but sighed as it advanced towards the clown. " Oh Dotso, one of your finest tricks I see, and I bet your celebrating someone's birthday, I wonder how mu-." Julie stopped mid sentence, something else caught her attention, the crying of the goslings almost silenced. She turned around quickly and she breathed frantically, Elliot felt the air getting warmer, his eyes widened. " Oh, oh no." He breathed, as if on que he heard the footsteps getting louder, Julie took notice and started to panic herself.
Julie instinctively spun her head around the area looking for a place to hide, she found a row of small cubbies that had little small doors. She dropped the bonesaw as it made a quitely clattered, and to Elliot shock the things whole body squeezed inside of the cubby as she closed the door behind her. " What the #########!" He whispered, suddenly a bang on the door as it swung wide open. The big ######### Furnace thing stood there in the dark and damp area. Its heavy breath was still unnerving as ever, Elliot saw that it wore old fashion galoshes that had chains wrapped around it like cuffs.
It stomped toward the cribs and peered inside, suddenly the baby cried again following the others. Elliot felt a chill in his spine, he held his breath, yet as he watched the monster it retracted. It clasped its metal, and with its fist banged its head rapidly around where the ears would be. With a low yet loud growl with its left fist it punched the Goslings, it cried loudly, which seemed to irritate the monster even more! With the its axe it lifted and chopped away, it began relentlessly chopped at the other crying 'Rhodies', their blood splattering against the walls, and small bits of them spreading through out the classroom. Chunks of wood laid crumpled to the floor as both the clown doll, and the chimp were nothing more then broken parts.
After it stopped, the Furnace thing heaved in and out, it was trying to catch its breaths as wooden pieces, bits of sharp metal laid on the floor broken and useless. The monster then heaved as it went for the exit, suddenly a moan was made audible, it came from the small, cubby. Apparently Julie 'enjoyed' watching the violence done to others. The Furnace thing stopped, and turned its body back around, Elliot could already guess what was about to happen. It stomped off to the cubby, it caught site of the bonesaw, it knelt down, opened the cubby and found Julie inside. " NO, no please!" She pleaded, but the Furnace Thing yanked her out and tossed her to the floor.
Julie struggled to recover, Elliot cringed up, even though she tried to kill him, he felt a little bit of pity for her. The Furnace Thing tilted its head, to Elliots' surprised it hasn't tried to kill Julie yet. It lifted its axe, he could see the landing blow coming, it was thrusted the axe to the ground , and it landed... by Julies' side. Elliot was puzzled yet fear stricken what was it doing? Unexpectedly the Furnace then grabbed Julies' legs, one in each hand. It lifted her up off the ground and then it ( Sorry you cannot see, as I've stated this is the cut version, and I am not willing to chance to get even remotely in trouble with the mods so we are gonna cut ahead here)
Julies' body laid limp, lifeless inside the vent, as a bloody white vomit mixture came spilling out of the tear, near the groin. Elliot held back tears, and tried not to cry for what he just saw, it brought him an absolute unease, the Furnace thing moaned as the bloody mess spilled all over its leather drape, it enjoyed what it did. It moaned all the way to pick up its axe, it lifted the heavy thing then departed the room. Elliots' heart ached in sorrow, and regret. What the monster did, the way it did it, how Julie was left, it brought a painful memory. Tears enveloped in Elliot's eyes as he sobbed. " Penny...I'm so sorry."
Just so you know I may never write something like this again, for a while I usually never write something this vulgar, ever.
Jesus that was dark.