My thoughts after one year of playing solo queue survivor…
I made some comments about the solo queue experience in another thread about killer anxiety, but I thought it might be interesting to put some of my thoughts together in one place. These are just my experiences and observations as someone who's still relatively new to Dead by Daylight, both in terms of playtime and how often I actually get to play.
I started playing Dead by Daylight in July 2025 after The Walking Dead DLC was announced. The Walking Dead is my favourite TV show of all time, and although I usually avoid multiplayer games because of the toxicity and overly competitive atmosphere that often comes with them, I couldn't pass up the chance to play my favourite characters in a horror game. So I bought Dead by Daylight and started the long process of getting every survivor to Prestige 1 so I could unlock their perks for Rick and Michonne.
I currently have around 462 hours in the game. I know that's not considered a lot by Dead by Daylight standards, where many players have thousands of hours, but I do feel reasonably confident now and like to think I have decent game sense. I know not to group up on generators unnecessarily, I try to take chase for people on death hook, and I'll happily take protection hits when needed.
One thing I quickly realised, though, was that there were a lot of unwritten rules and pieces of community terminology that I had no idea about. I vividly remember playing against a TTV who referred to my team as a "SWF." I genuinely didn't know what that meant, so I asked in their chat afterwards. They assumed I was trolling and immediately banned me. At the time I only had around 50 hours in the game, so I was completely confused. I hadn't understood what I'd supposedly done wrong, either during the match or in their chat. After looking it up, I discovered it simply meant "Survive With Friends." Learning that term made me notice a pattern.
No matter what lobby I'm in, people often assume we're a SWF. The funny thing is, I haven't played in a party a single time since installing Dead by Daylight. Every one of my matches has been solo queue, yet I've still been accused of being part of a coordinated group countless times. It seems like if survivors repair generators efficiently, spread out, take protection hits, or generally know how to play the game, they're automatically labelled a SWF. If generators get completed quickly, it's because they're a SWF. If everyone loops reasonably well, they're a SWF.
I know this might sound dramatic, but sometimes it feels like solo queue players don't actually exist in the eyes of some killer players. We absolutely do exist, and I'd argue there are probably more of us than people realise. It often feels like assuming every competent team is a SWF becomes an easy explanation for a loss: "Well, of course I lost, they were a coordinated group." Sometimes that's true, but a lot of the time it simply isn't.
After watching a variety of content creators to improve at the game, I've noticed this is a common discussion point. People often talk about how difficult it is to face coordinated SWFs, but I rarely see anyone discussing how rough the solo queue experience can actually be. When I'm matched with duos or trios, I often feel like the random player is treated as an afterthought. I can get every unhook, spend the match healing teammates, contribute to generators, and still be left to reach struggle stage or abandoned during the endgame, even when I'm running Kindred and everyone can clearly see it's safe to rescue me. It's almost like you're viewed as less important because you're not part of their group. You may as well have a bot icon next to your username.
I've even watched streamers' VODs afterwards and heard them talking down about me simply because I was the random Rick player in the lobby. What's wrong with playing a character I genuinely love?
The character prejudice in this game is honestly bizarre to me. It's never something I think about when I load into a lobby, but I've noticed certain characters, especially Sable and Meg, seem to receive an unfair amount of judgement before the match has even begun.
I've even had people make assumptions based on my username. My name is "ThatTWDFan," and I've had streamers scoff at it as though it somehow means I'll be a bad teammate. I've had that username for years because it genuinely reflects one of my biggest interests, and I actually think it looks quite clean. Yet people still use it as a reason to prejudge me before the game has even started.
As a newer player, that doesn't exactly feel great. There's already so much to learn in Dead by Daylight, and it's a game that's constantly evolving with perk changes, balance updates, and new mechanics. Expecting newer players to instantly know everything feels unrealistic.
Something else I've noticed is that the community often has a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" mentality. If I take a protection hit or sabotage a hook, I'm sometimes labelled toxic by the killer, which can lead to being tunnelled, bled out, or repeatedly humped on the ground, a behaviour that's a fascinating topic in itself. On the other hand, if I don't take the hit or don't sabotage the hook when I have the opportunity, I'm suddenly considered a useless teammate by my own team, and sometimes even by the killer.
I play against a lot of TTVs for some reason, and I've lost count of how many times I've heard people criticise me over things that were completely outside my control. It often feels like you're expected to play perfectly, predict everyone else's decisions, and never make a mistake. If you don't, you're apparently the worst player in the lobby. That creates a surprising amount of pressure. There have genuinely been evenings where I've chosen not to launch the game after a long day at work because I'm tired and convince myself I won't play as well as usual. Instead of relaxing, I'm worrying that I'll end up in a streamer's lobby and spend the next ten minutes being criticised in front of their viewers.
I've always seen video games as a way to switch off from reality and escape for a while, but Dead by Daylight doesn't always allow me to do that. It feels like you constantly have to be "locked in," otherwise you're opening yourself up to criticism from one side or the other.
Despite all of that, I do still enjoy the game. A huge part of that is because of The Walking Dead characters and my goal of getting both Rick and Michonne to Prestige 100. They're currently both Prestige 98, so I'm almost there. Honestly, though, I'm not sure I would've stuck with Dead by Daylight if they weren't part of it. The solo queue experience can be so inconsistent and mentally exhausting that it sometimes doesn't feel worth queuing at all.
This isn't me asking for people to play with, I actually enjoy gaming by myself and have always been more of a lone wolf. I just think the solo queue experience is often overlooked.
I wish more players took accountability for their own mistakes instead of immediately blaming the random teammate. Likewise, if one or two survivors are being toxic or BMing the killer, I'd rather see the killer deal with those specific players instead of taking their frustration out on everyone else. More often than not, it feels like solo queue players end up as collateral damage simply because they happened to load into the same lobby as a group of friends.
Comments
Competitive gaming brings out the bad in a lot of people. I say some of those most vile, unhinged stuff that'd Id never say otherwise when I'm playing. It's why I stopped playing pvps for over a decade. I was the worst version of myself. People will attack whatever scrap they get and say whatever they think might sting. I've also had people mock my handle, in game and in the forum. I've had solo teammates attack me for having a killer badge. I've had people attack my hours, or my prestige status on both roles. And that's not even counting totally random insults that aren't using some visual aspect of my digital identity, like being called a bot. Literally anything they can get at they will attack. They're just angry and want other people to be upset too.
A lot of killers use SWF as a way to brush of their losses. Streamers in particular want to blame someone else because they're being watched. SWF is an easy boogeyman and scapegoat. I've played a lot of both and I do about the same stat-wise in both.
If you're worried about streamers just don't watch them. I went back and watched myself get stomped by momo on two occasions and haven't done that since. I didn't even make it to my death on the second one. I'd rather not see or hear it from the other perspective. If the chat really hurts your view of the game or makes you feel pressured, close it. Playing anon helps too.
Sadly a lot of killers seem to view survivors as a mass unit. I always make sure to remember people are individuals. If someone BMs me I'll BM them back, but I won't do it to anyone else. Even if they're partied up, friends don't control one another's actions.
Good post and well laid out. The rush/ease at which others are blamed post match is a pretty big issue.
It's never something I think about when I load into a lobby, but I've noticed certain characters, especially Sable and Meg, seem to receive an unfair amount of judgement before the match has even begun.While I can't speak to how universal it is, I think a lot of players who engage in this are just joking/memeing. They don't actually think the player is inherently worse, its just a community joke.
But maybe I'm too hopeful on that issue.
A lot of killers are told, not only here, but out there too, that any level of efficiency is impossible because of the brainlets of soloqueue. I remember having this exact dillemma in my head multiple times. You are not alone here, the issue is Soloqueue is often talked down to, to the point where any level of co-ordination seems swf. Doesn't excuse it, but its often the shield a lot of people hide behind when downplaying certain aspects of the game.
Far from it, sadly. Soloqueue is often acknowledged to be a bloodfest, hoping you get even slightly self aware survivors who can help you escape from the trial. But yes, queueing in and being put with a 3 man swf can either be a saving grace or make you hate the game on a new level. I've played with 3 man swfs (myself not part of it) who have done everything they can to be efficient and left me on hook to die because the killer was proxy camping. I've also played with some of the most godly 3 man swf's who put me to shame, and carried my ass through the trial. Its a 50/50 which ones you get.
The funny thing is, its often underserved. However, its always a meg or sable, but not every meg and sable. They get their stereotypes because the people who gravitate towards meg want to be chased and have the flashlight saves at the ready (which nicely aligns with her perks and outfits), and sables have invocations a lot of the time they waste half the game on and become broken, which is often a liability.
Oh absolutely, people love to blame anything other than themselves, and since your not in the 3 man your the target. I generally avoid going into TTV's chats unless I enjoyed the game and are ready to hear the insults. They expect a level of co-ordination and skill from you that isn't a god given ability, and that they have because theyre in a swf. Calls that make sense because theyre in a swf arent always possible to you, because you don't have their info. Take it on the chin or don't go into their chats, because sadly thats what most the ttvs will do.
And your playing the role that has time to switch off. But yeah, any mistakes/bad games can and will be criticised by the other players. Its horrendous, and im sorry you have to go through that. Its why I don't just play dbd. I play league of legends, I play TLOU, I play darkest dungeon and I play skyrim and switch whenever it gets too bad. Dbd and league arent my chill games, I play them when I want to win/concentrate and are ready for the criticism. I'd advise you try and find other games to loop in when your feeling like relaxing.
Ooh boy, Sadly do I have to both agree and disagree with this take. In the perfect world, when Bmed the killer would shrug it off and move on. In a perfect world, teabaggs and tunneling wouldn't exist. Sadly , this is dbd. A killer who is tea bagged might take the kids gloves off and tunnel anyone who they can to kill the offending party, because sadly they might need to get rid of the weakest link to get to the actual BMER. And if a survivor who has been hit on hook/tunneled out next game goes and teabaggs the killer, its a vicious cycle. Both sides do it, both of them feel entitled to it, and whilst it feels bad as someone who doesnt bm (I too avoid bming until another side does it, and I certainly don't take it into the next game) it sucks. And as the newer player, you might end up being the "weakest link" a lot more times then you'd like.
Now my other peice of advice is, if you want to not be targetted out because of the SWF you get put against are bming. Theres only one thing you can reasonably do, and thats become not the weakest link. Keep playing, watch videos on how to loop certain tiles on each map, what perks to cover your weaknesses, and decision making throughout the trial. Watch other high tier survivor mains and how they play, and become the monster that you can be so the killer cannot afford to waste time taking it out on you.
But yeah, soloqueue is rough bud, I really hope you stick it out and continue to improve so that you can enjoy the game, and whilst you'll have bad games, you'll have unsatisfying games and youll have games that make you want to pull your hair out, Just keep a positive mentality and don't let it affect you. Become impervious to the tilters. Thats all I can suggest.
You paid for the game and the DLC and you can enjoy it however you like.
Ignore the haters and don't let pressure from other players influence how or if you play. There's no fun in that.
Yh if you don't like competitive multiplayer or toxicity dbd must've been a real shock to the system.
Unfortunately a lot of ttvs will be immensley toxic, because it gets them views or they have to try and turn their chat against every player who beats them to keep their egos in balance. There are notable exceptions, I have had a lot of very nice and wholesome interactions with streamers.
I find a lot of dbd players can be very elitist and gatekeepy unfortunately. It is one of the most technically complicated games I've ever played with an insane amount of mechanic and perk bloat. Feels like you need to degree to understand how everything in the game works. And people seem to expect you to know it off the bat and will give you mad grief if you don't measure up in their eyes.
And yh soloq is a huge crapshoot. Always has been. I'm surprised you had the patience to put so many hours into the game in such a short time.
Honestly I wouldn't worry about other players opinions if I were you. Someone will always complain, no matter how you play. So screw em, play in whatever way you enjoy the most. I'd suggest trying to find some reguslr swf team mates, it makes the game much more enjoyable even when losing, which contrary to what a lot of the trival killer mains will say, still happens to swfs.
DBD players love some hindsight and back-seating.
The same people who say you should've done XYZ will be the first to mess up and chalk it up to 'unlucky.' It's one of the biggest reasons I cannot stand watching most content creators.
However, if you genuinely want to get better, I'd recommend using OBS to record your gameplay and watch it back to learn, without the pressures of the game, you will almost guaranteed notice mistakes that you're making without even realizing.
Solo Queue is very stressful which I feel isn't talked about enough, you don't know if you're with a swf, you don't know who's going to troll and who's going to actually play, not to mention factoring in the killer and their playstyle. It's a lot to juggle.
The game is a trial by fire though, so you will get burned and burned often, but if you can push through to 1k hours, its becomes a game you can't quite drop despite it.
I'd recommend focusing on being an efficient survivor and to not be shy about praising people who do well and making the first step to adding people, you'd be surprised how one good game can catalyze a friendship and give you a broader pool of people to queue with.
I also actually disagree with the 'play how you want' mentality and I think that's why the game is so toxic, people get an idea of how they want to play and if someone disrupts it they react negatively, I think being as selfless as possible without rewarding bad behavior is a better approach to 'being the change you want to see.'
people take this game too seriously..