Night_Terror
Night_Terror
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- Night_Terror
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I think you got a little over excited writing up your characters. This Jessica sounds like quite the douche, her perks are based on her bullying people which doesn't look great, especially from a PR view, as such it would look as though the game condones bullying and glorifies a bully as a protagonist. Jessica's victim would be more appropriate based on the whole 'emo' thing and that you would actually care for the character, plus she has the edge as a survivor of a bully. Her perks will revolve around her being a survivor of bullying. (remember that a survivor should be a good guy).
As for the Killer, her origin seems kinda chaotic. So she lost her mind because the kids misbehaved and failed in helping a kid who was being bullied, leading to her husband divorcing her? The killer seems to lack motivation as a killer other than divorce. Where does the killer's weapon come into the story? There seems to be less emphasis on how her being a teacher reflects on her killer persona and more so towards focusing on Jessica.
Regarding the Mansion, where does this come into the story?
The power seems like a weaker version of Yamoaka's haunting.
This could have a lot of potential. It just seems like you rushed it alot and got a little to excited around the premise of Jessica.
Keep at it though
Forgot to mention the mori - What's going on there? It may have just been the way you tried to describe it, as it sounds like she just wants prick you somewhat, while massaging your face. The whole stomping thing would be too reminiscent of The Clown.
The killer's appearance seems less like s teacher and more like a sultry woman of the night. Why does she wear a face mask with a long nose with a silky purple dress, stockings and heels? I don't feel any teacher vibes at the moment, maybe I am lost in translation?