SURVIVE WITH FRIENDS PS4 & XBOX ONE

Hi! I play DBD on PS4 PRO w my spouse and I live in Spain. I returned home for the holidays (USA) and bought DBD on my brother's XBOX ONE to play with my spouse who is back home in Spain but we cannot connect. Somehow I cannot send a request to my PS4 gamertag from an xbox one console. What's up with that? will I have to request a refund from microsoft for the purchase? is there a solution I'm unaware of? will this issue be solved in the future? someone?
Thanks!

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